The promise of sex with a foreigner crosses your mind as you make your reservations, browse hostels online and pack your bags.

Photo and feature photo: masochismtango

Will the women in the countries you visit be interested in you?  I can’t help you with that part, but it does seem in the places I’ve been that the guys who are foreign (you) have the cachet of being from somewhere else.  Depending on how you work it, you could be attracting girls left and right, but they won’t be going anywhere with you if you seem like a bummer of a lay.

Girls can tell a lot about whether they want to sleep with you in a few moments of closeness.  Allow me to share a couple of tips with you so you can make those moments count and get a second chance.

Desperation is obvious.

Before you even go out, you have to get the stink of it off of you. Whatever it takes to you to calm the hell down, do it.  There’s nothing that’s more of a turn off than a sexually desperate guy.

It’s all about the kiss.

Guys, I can’t stress this enough.  Once you’re into kissing, take it slow.  Follow her lead and tempo.  Far too many guys never get a second chance because they treat kissing like a game of thumb war, determined to take down the opponent’s tongue.  Don’t try to choke her out or restrict her wind pipe.  It’s not hot.

You should look at it as a way of getting to know her, not a way of proving that your tongue can go into turbo drive.  Be calm and self assured in your kissing and don’t get too fancy – at least not at first.

Photo: manu_el_o_matic!

Groping – Don’t give her the bad touch.

Be aware that a man’s and woman’s ‘erogenous zones’ do not operate in the same way.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, the skin of the vagina is like delicate tissue paper compared to what you’ve got.  If you get that far, don’t treat the crotch of a girl as you do your own.

Rule of thumb (and fingers): Use 1/10th the pressure you would on your own genitals.  If she wants it harder, she’ll make up for the torque you’re lacking – then you can adjust.

Tip – Try using the flat of your hand.  In the dark and through layers of clothes, it’s just inadvisable to go digging a single finger.  Use the butt of your hand to rub the general area.  You’ll be able to tell when you’re doing it right.

The most important thing is to be aware of her.

Is she responding to what you’re doing?  Change it up and see if she seems to like it any better.  Pay more attention to her reaction than to your pal downstairs and you might make enough of an impression to get her to pay a little attention to him.

Women like to think that you’re interested in what they have to say – maybe you even are.  If you’re not, you’ll have to fake it.  This extends to getting it on as well.  Ask her.  If she is quiet and less than expressive, ask if she likes the way you’re doing what you’re doing.  It’s such a rare thing to do, you’re bound to impress her.  If she’s embarrassed to say, ask her to show you.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, guys, but there are some nuggets of information that can serve you well on your home turf as well as abroad.  Use your foreign charm and  knock ‘em dead.

Photo: drumecho

I’ve been in mad work mode for the last 2 weeks and haven’t really been vibing to anything new.

Usually while working [writing/editing] I get distracted if the music is too ‘organic’. If there are too many words or complex melodies or singer / songwriters ‘bearing their souls’ then I’ll find myself stopping to listen.

I work better to straight up beats or hip hop.

The problem though is that it’s hard listening to drum and bass or whatever really early in the morning. Lately I’ve been ‘easing’ into the day with a little dub / steppers / rockers / reggae. It gets a positive vibe going. I’ve found some good work session music at dub session podcasts.

Here’s a link to one.

Each one is long, like an hour of music–and you can fast forward past the cheesy opening sound-effects.

Happy skanking.

I’d been craving pasta for two months and was not going to give my re-virginized self to just anyone.

I’m glad I saved it La Buca in Sukhumvit–ten tables, a wall of imported wine, and Mr. Oreste, a dude from Tuscany who can motherf’ing cook.

Tucked down Soi One, La Buca is a genuine find. It’s not as cheap as the dives on the main strip, but it’s just…real. Oreste listed two specials when I walked in, then pondered a minute and threw out two more, both that he had definitely made up on the fly, given the ingredients in back.

I went for a simple salad and spaghetti aglio/olio but…eh…how do I explain this?

It’s almost a greater achievement when a restaurant can cook something simple perfectly, without over-doing it or taking for granted how easy it is. My eyes did the rolling-up thing after each bit– just the right amount of everything.

La Buca has an old-school dumbwaiter that comes from the kitchen, delivering goodness with ring of a bell that must have been created 30 years ago (zrriiiiiiiiing). Oreste grabbed a chair after I was done chowing, telling me his story as I pumped him for details.

He had been a cook for 30 years in Europe, scraping together enough money to start a restaurant somewhere. He opened here seven years ago, with his best friend telling him that he’d be closed within six months. He’s since given that guy the big Ba Fongule and kept a stream of steady customers.

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2007 was a big year but he admits things have fallen off over the past 12 months. Japanese businessmen aren’t walking in with credit cards as often and people have begun sharing appetizers.

It also doesn’t help that pedestrian traffic on this Soi is rather subdued, on account of there not being any chicks throwing their boobs in your face and offering massages.

I’m going back tomorrow, unable to control myself. Other guys may be headed for hand jobs around the corner but me, I’m drooling at the prospect of the eggplant parmigiana– Mr. Oreste promised me that he’d go hunting for the ingredients in the morning, excited to deliver something off-menu and requested.

I left just as a guy from Brooklyn walked in with his 22 year old Thai girlfriend. He sat down quickly and started ordering, not even looking at the menu. “I don’t care. Just give me some fuckin’ pasta.”

(La Buca. 220/4 Sukhumvit Soi 1. 089-2166514 or casorest@truemail.co.th)

Siam Paragon:

The food court here was massive, spotless and buzzing with life. I grabbed a lemon iced tea, a bbq chicken stick and a spicy chicken noodle curry (which I immediately spilled on my lap). The stalls ran the Asian gamut, from steamed buns to bird knuckle. There’s something for everyone. Might be the best in BKK. Ignore the McDonalds.

Impression: Dreamy. Mood: Homer Simpson after a beer.

MBK Center:

Known best for its 4th floor bootleg phone orgy, this is a great place to grab a coffee and watch as tourists get taken for Very Special Price. I couldn’t resist picking up a dessert that resembled a taco with white fluff and stringy squash. Delicious, despite a crunchy consistency.

I then followed employees into a tiny alcove with a vat of bubbling meat parts. I pointed. “That please.” I’m happy to pretend what I ate was chicken with rice. Woof. Ignore the Burger King.

Impression: Dizzying activity with tasty snacks. Mood: Spiked on sugar.

Siam Discovery:

This one was a bit of an up-scaler, with few food options. I did my writer’s duty and hit Starbucks, jacked myself on caffeine and scribbled bad coffee-shop verse. Overpriced muffins still taste like over-priced muffins here. Ignore the Starbucks.

Impression: Good for furniture, bad for food. Mood: Perturbed.

Siam Center:

A mall that could just as easily be in Hartford, complete with a building-wide system that blared JT bitching about having 15 minutes to save the world. I did a very brave thing and tried a green tea and grape jelly shake at Mr Shake, wishing that I hadn’t after one sip.

I hightailed up to the Food For Fun floor, preparing for (their words) a fast, funky, flirty (?) feast. Imagine my surprise when I saw that they served stewed ox genitals with chinese herbs. I could only think of one F for that – f’d up. Instead I ordered some undeniably amazing mango sticky rice. Avoid the Sizzler.

Impression: Manageable and full of options. Mood: Close to hurling.

Centralworld:

“Get yourself ready for Kiehl’s!” announced a sign at the entrance. I stopped, unsure how exactly to get myself ready for the arrival of boutique moisturizer. This mall had the best AC and I sat on a bench for thirty minutes, just soaking up the icy air.

Sadly, the food court was jammed behind frozen foods on the top floor. I instead opted for a grilled cheese at The American Restaurant, completely falling for their slogan (”Hey dude, come in and taste for yourself.”). I also have to admit that also bought a shirt at a store called Trendytown. Ignore the Dunkin Donuts.

Impression: Biggest mall I have ever seen. Mood: Fat.

The Gaysorn:

I wasn’t even hungry but I rolled myself into this place because a) it had “gay” in the name and I’m really eleven years old b) it looked pricey. Inside I found about nine people shopping. It would appear that now is not the best time to treat yourself to a Tiffany watch.

I was able to find some green tea for $3 US, hoping that it would somehow digest everything gurgling down below. It only made my gurgle more green. Ignore everything.

Impression: How could one city substantiate so much shopping? Mood: Glad to be finished.

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All Photos: Tom Gates

When I left the continent of North America for the first time a scant six month ago, I never imagined that I would have the opportunity to hoist my freak flag and let it unfurl and fly free as I have had here at Matador.

Travel offers new perspectives, but in traveling, you’ll certainly notice that there is a common thread among humanity – heart-breaking, moving, inspiring and abhorrent. We scramble through our days – and what’s life for if not to experience everything we can, everywhere we can?

Better still if we can tell people a little about what it’s like.

Best of all if we can encourage someone else to do the same.

I am proud to be included in Matador Nights along with the incredible wit of Matador Life Editor Tom Gates and the profound observations that can be found in the entertaining writings of Matador Senior Editor David Miller.

Matador Nights has gotten a facelift along with the rest of the site. We may look better than ever, but we are still getting jostled by the bumps in the road and we’re still here to tell you all about it. The change in format extends to a new breed of work whereby we inject a little more fun into the pages with some shorter, punchier pieces.

We want to know what you think, too. We’ll take it into consideration. Let us know here. Stick your toe in the water and join our community. If you want to do more than just tell us what you think, show us by contributing.

Stay tuned in by subscribing, and get Matador in your inbox.

Photos Kate Sedgwick

There were plenty of amazing things and people to see at Tattoo Show Buenos Aires 2009. Many of the country’s most modified people mingled with the estimated 12,000 convention-goers.

I spotted no less than four camera crews with their noteworthy television personalities in tow excitedly explaining to the un-tattooed masses watching from home just what these strange looking people were doing in the Bauen Hotel.

Sponsored by Mandinga Tattoo, this was the fifth year of this convention that in past years was called Convención Nacional de Tatuajes, but now goes by the simple name Tattoo Show.

300 tattoo artists, supply vendors, body modifiers of all sorts including piercers, branders and scarifiers from as far away as Europe and the U.S. and all over South and Central America gathered for three days. The modified came to see and be seen and maybe get some work done.

A tattoo convention is a unique opportunity to compare many artists in one place. Each tattooist has an album of their work on the table at the front of the booth and you get the chance to watch them in action, flip through their books and to ask questions if you’re so inclined.

Tattoo Show 2009 offered three floors of action including an auditorium in which 20 bands played throughout the afternoons and evenings.

The pageantry of Miss Tattoo and a contest for the best tattoos were commented on and judged by a panel of tipsy guys.

One of them inexpertly operated a video camera that fed two live monitors on either side of the stage while various punk rock hits played throughout at medium volume.

What I learned

I learned several things during Tattoo Show 2009. There is an Argentine branch of the Hell’s Angels, for instance. Here are some on the right escaping my camera:

I also met the Alberto Fornes, known as “El Mago,” renowned as the most tattooed man in Argentina (above, left). Highly personable, he shook my hand and asked about my plastic wrapped arm that had just been tattooed.

Here you can see that he will be 52 next month, though he seems much younger. Easy as it is to assume someone with so many tattoos would be exhibiting a cooler-than-thou attitude, I was happy to be recognized by him in passing and greeted warmly the following day. He was alive with excitement in an atmosphere so wholly dedicated to tattoos.

Beer was everywhere. Tattooists were drinking and tattooing at the same time.

I even saw a brimming plastic cupful in the drink caddy of a stroller. Here you can see crates of empties on their way to be recycled mid-day.

Of all the artists at work during the convention, I saw only one woman. Salome Sajnin’s shop is called Calavera No Chilla. Here she is, gloved and ready to go under a poster of one of her paintings.

The most impressive thing I saw by far was this tattoo of a dragon fish being done.

Diego Ortiz spent about three hours filling in the very simple outline he’d laid out using a photograph for reference. The guy getting tattooed endured Diego adding layer upon layer of ink for this full color, photorealistic piece without so much as a sigh.

Ortiz looked back and forth between the ankle and the picture in between interruptions from many friends who stopped by to shoot the breeze.

There’s a little something for everyone at a convention like this. The curious can get an eyeful and do a little shopping for some clothes that make them feel just a little weirder while those looking for an artist get the opportunity to find someone who melds with their style.

People in various states of undress show off piercings, tattoos and brands with nary a fear of the stink eye.

Next March, if you happen to be in Buenos Aires, you’re sure to see something to remember if you swing by Tattoo Show 2010.

All Photos by Kate Sedgwick

I don’t know what it is about Atlas Sound. It’s like it’s always raining in their music. Perfect for out here in the Pacific Northwest. A soundtrack for rain and deep introspection. The title of the album is the best in years: Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Not Feel.

I had this on a few weeks ago as we were driving across the Olympic Peninsula and it seemed to just lock down the drive and the feeling at the time. We were on the 101 West, the terrain alternating between clear-cuts and corridors of cedar and madrona. Rain. Wondering how the surf would be. Slightly nervous.

It seemed like whoever made this vid feels the same way about the rain. The images themselves are ok. . .this is mainly just to listen to.

Travel mp3 of the Week

Bradford Cox (Atlas Sound, Deerhunter) posts a lot of outtakes and audio sketches on the Lotus Plaza / Atlas Sound / Deerhunter Blog.

Here’s a link to the early demos of Recent Bedroom where you can download a few different versions of this track, all of them raw and good for rides or travel. Movement.

Please support Atlas Sound by buying the Album from Amazon or direct from Kranky , a label producing some of the freshest music right now.

Community Connection

Anyone out there seen a Deerhunter or Atlas Sound show? We’d love to read / publish a concert review. Please contact: david [at] matadornetwork [dot] com

Photo by deovolenti

For years I’ve had the thought: ‘what if you could just travel around the world making field recordings of different people playing music and then remix it all into some ill composition?’

Several djs and producers have realized this idea, notably Amon Tobin, whose 2007 release Foley Room, was created entirely out of live recordings.

For the last few years people have also been experimenting with big mashups, only using video instead of just audio. The game has all changed however, with the production of thru-you.

Israeli musician Kutiman explains:

“. . . I collected all kind of different unrelated youtube movies of all kind of different people playing different instruments or singing. I put them together and created new songs and new music. It was really amazing to see how often different movies matched together without me even touching it. “

Instead of famous musicians (except for legendary drummer Bernard Purdie) the people in the videos are mostly unknown. Here’s just a sampling:

• Guitarist who looks like he works at local music store
• Emcee going off on street corner
• High school wood-wind section
• Little kid playing trumpet
• Bedroom diva signing into her webcam
• Middle aged dude ripping on harmonica in his living room

Each person’s ‘part’ is layered on top of another to form different songs ranging from funk and hip hop to reggae and drum and bass.

Listening to thru-you has this unexpected effect, or at least it did for me: you share a little of that same feeling every musician has had at one time or another–that for a second, even if nobody else can hear it, you’re totally going off.

Photo by haglundc

Where I’m from in North Carolina, you haven’t had barbecue until you’ve had our barbecue. It’s a matter of regional pride, just as much a cultural and social phenomenon as a culinary tradition.

People all over the world take the same pride in their barbecue. What is it about cooking over a smoldering pit that brings out the best in people?

Here are 7 places to put on your BBQ map:

1. United States

From Carolina pig-pickin’s to Kentucky mutton, the idea is the same everywhere- an outdoor party with friends, food, and beer.

American barbecue has its origins in the 1800s, when poor farmers would capture semi-feral pigs when food was scarce. Though beef and chicken both hold sway, pork remains the staple of most barbecues.

The meat is generally unmarinated before being put on the grill, where it’s brushed with whatever kind of sauce is available or popular. More than anywhere else, American barbecue makes use of specific kinds of wood to impart flavor in the meat: in Texas, mesquite brush is common, but hickory and oak are more readily available elsewhere.

Outside the South, culinary specifics often take a back seat to the social aspect. You’re more likely to find burgers, hot dogs, and vegetable skewers than pulled pork at a BBQ, but the soul of the barbecue is alive and well.

2. Korea

Photo by dane brian

Unlike its American cousin, Korean barbecue usually looks more like a meal at a restaurant than a summer block party. The meat comes raw as patrons sit at a special table, cooking their meal on a charcoal or gas grill in the middle. Cuts of beef, pork, and chicken are the norm, most marinated in a garlic-soy sauce mixture.

Barbecue has become synonymous with Korean cuisine outside its homeland. The unique blend of cooking and dining has made it popular the world over, and Korean food can be found in nearly every major city on Earth.

3. South Africa

South Africans call their barbecue braai, from the Afrikaans word for roasted meat (braaivleis). Developed by Dutch immigrants, the braai has become a pervasive tradition across racial lines in South Africa. Like most barbecues it’s very much a social event, and the role of braaier (head chef) is a coveted position.

The range of meats used shows the braai’s many cultural influences- sausages, kebabs and steak are all standard fare. A traditional Bantu porridge called pap, similar to grits or polenta, is a popular side dish.

4. Philippines

If you’ve ever been to a Filipino party, you probably remember the enormous roasted hog. Called lechón, no celebration is complete without a whole pig roasted over hot coals. The pig is brushed with its own fat, keeping the meat moist and the skin crunchy. Whole chickens and cattle are occasionally used as well.

Photo by lemuelinchrist

Lechón is so popular in the Philippines that it can usually be found year-round in street stalls and restaurants. Derived from a Spanish tradition, variations on lechón can be found throughout Latin America and the Caribbean as well, especially during the week of Christmas.

5. Australia

Much to my dismay, no real Australian has ever said “Put another shrimp on the barbie” seriously. The whole thing came from an American advertising campaign with Paul Hogan (of “Crocodile Dundee” fame) –Australians actually say “prawn” instead of “shrimp.”

Still, Australia is a country that loves its barbecue. It’s so popular that many public spaces actually have coin-operated grills, and with so many great beaches to have cook-outs on it’s no surprise the tradition has taken hold.

Photo by Walmink

Thanks to its huge cattle industry and long coastline, Australians rely mostly on burgers and seafood to satisfy their grilling desires. The “sausage sizzle,” however, is what makes Australian barbecue special. Ubiquitous at fundraisers and school events, sausages are grilled, put on white bread with onions and tomato sauce, and sold for a dollar or two.

6. Mongolia

Mongolians have their own unique ways of cooking meat, but it’s not what you’d find at your local “Mongolian barbecue” restaurant– that’s a Taiwanese version of Japanese teppanyaki. Weirdly, the first American chain to open in Ulan Bator was just such a restaurant.

Meat has historically played a big part in Mongol cuisine, as nomadic lifestyles and poor land lend themselves better to livestock than crops. Khorkhog is the iconic Mongolian dining experience, usually reserved for special occasions or honored guests.

Stones are heated in a fire before being put in a pot with lamb or goat meat. The cooked morsels are eaten with diners’ hands, and it’s said to be good for one’s health to hold the stones used in cooking. Boodog is a more commonplace meal, where marmots are cooked whole over an open fire.

7. Argentina

In 1900, the quality and scale of its beef industry meant Argentines enjoyed a higher standard of living than Americans. Exports declined, but the Argentine love of beef hasn’t diminished.

Photo by Gustavo (lu7frb)

Popular in Uruguay, Chile, and Paraguay as well, the asado is Argentina’s answer to barbecue. Meats are usually unmarinated and served like courses. Sausages and organs come first, followed by ribs, steak, and possibly chicken or goat. Salads, bread or grilled vegetables accompany the meal.

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Are you a barbecue fanatic? Check out Matador member Huntington’s blog post, Kansas City – Home of the Best BBQ in the World, and join in the debate: Where have you had your favorite BBQ?

Feature photo by Érre Ortega. Photo above by Prefeitura de Olinda.

“Do you like our music?” someone asked me. “Love it!” I said, ticking off the names of Brazilian icons: Caetano Veloso, Joao Gilberto, and Astrud Gilberto. Sure, I knew they were old school, but there’s something about Joao Gilberto whisper-singing “‘S wonderful, ‘s mahvelous, that you should care for me” that’s timeless, right?

Um, no. My utter uncoolness was revealed. Saying I listened to Veloso, Gilberto, and Gilberto was like a Brazilian coming to the States and saying he listened to Paul Anka, Elton John, and Joni Mitchell.

Brazil’s music scene is more—much more– than bossa nova and samba. Here are just a few samples of the artists and kinds of music Brazilians are into right now:

O Funk Proibidão

This raw but hyper danceable music started in the early 90s in the favelas in Rio. It’s basically constructed from Miami bass and booty beats with MCs rhyming.

Funk Proibidão is the underground music that is recorded and played at parties and spread through cd’s, mixed tapes. As far as lyrical content however, “that shit is laced in with the gangs and narcos” is how one one Matadorian puts it.

Similar to when The Chronic was dominating US clubs in the early 90s, one group Brazilian group, Mc Cidinho e Doca, had the hottest song last year.

Marcelo D2

Hip hop is going off in Brazil. Down there they call it hippe-hoppe. One of the most innovative rappers is Marcelo D2 (check vid above), who mixes samples of bossa nova and other traditional forms into his music.

Alceu Valenca

At 62, Alceu Valenca might seem better classified in the greatest hits section, but what keeps Brazilians listening is the artist’s obvious love of music and his ongoing experimentation with form, genre, and… performance.

Valenca, who’s been referred to as the “Brazilian Bobby Dylan” and the “Brazilian Mick Jagger,” is able to blend folk, rock, and traditional styles into a sound that’s distinctly his own. His shows are characterized by elaborate costume changes and crowd-pleasing favorites, like “Morena Tropicana.”

His 2009 release, “Ciranda Mourisca,” isn’t available in the US yet, but a promotional CD hints at mysterious gypsy-like sounds, yet another addition to Valenca’s repertoire.

Photo by writingjulie.

Siba e a Fuloresta

Siba e a Fulorestais the 40 year old founder and front man of this 10 person group, whose youngest member is 19 and whose oldest is 75. Siba’s musical trajectory might seem backward to those obsessed with the-next-big-thing: after moving from his hometown to the city, he then moved back home to discover his musical roots, building his performance cred in hardcore street shows.

“Street music prepared us for everything,” he said to me in an interview, “improving the relationship with the audience, our ability to deal with problems, everything.”

Siba cites jazz, North African music, 60s and 70s rock, and the troubadour poetry of Brazil as some of his persistent influences, and these genres exert themselves subtly in a musical niche that he and his group-mates are carving out for themselves.

Three of our recommendations come from Alex Robinson, Brazilian music aficionado, former resident of Sao Paulo, and author of Footprint’s Brazil Handbook.

Coletivo Radio Cipó

“I’m currently listening to loads of music from Belém in the mouth of the Amazon. It’s one of the most exciting places for music in Brazil at the moment. I particularly like Coletivo Radio Cipó, who fuse local carimbó beats with reggae, rap, and penetrating social commentary.

Photo by Festival Calango.

La Pupuña

“I also love La Pupuña, who play a kind of psychedelic Amazonian surf rock broken by sound effects from the river– like the chug of long-tail boats and the call of birds. They have just released a carimbó version of “Dark Side of the Moon” called “Charque Side of the Moon,” named in honour of the local beef jerky.

Madame Saatan

“And then there’s Madame Saatan, fronted by Sammliz, a delicate, wispy singer with a face like a model and a voice as big and rich as Mariah Carey. But she’s no R’nB diva – Madame Saatan’s Devorados is as fast and relentless as Metallica. And it paints a bleak picture of the self-destructive lives of many in poor urban Brazil.”

COMMUNITY CONNECTION:

Headed to South America? Find out What People Are Listening to in Chile, too!