The Hawaiian Bastard.

Pronto Pizza – La Serena, Chile

This creator of this restaurant should be thrown in jail. You’re looking at a picture of what should be called The Hawaiian Bastard.

It arrived half-cooked. I had to dig through a thicket of shredded ham, pineapple and –yes – cherries before finding a bite that seemed reasonable.

Imagine if candy was made out of ham. No, don’t imagine it as delicious. Imagine it as foul! That’s what this pizza tasted like. With additional pieces of uncooked, shredded, part-skim mozzarella.

Oh, and let’s discuss the concept of cherries on pizza: No. End of discussion.

Even the pizza sweats in Argentina.

Te Pizza el Gallo – Buenos Aires, Argentina

For the most part, don’t even bother with pizza in Buenos Aires. It’s about the most disgusting thing ever cooked in a country full of things that are perfectly cooked. Get thee to a meatery and skip this nonsense.

Don’t believe me? Witness big goops of cheese that taste like year-old butter. Add Oregano to cover the sweating fromage, which overpowers any hope for a cohesive taste. Toss on green olives the size of human testicles, just to make the whole thing seem even less palatable than…testicles.

The cheese is the problem here – somehow the Argentines know what to do with the meaty part of the cow but they have no idea what to do with the milky part. It sweats as if masturbating, defending a pie of oozy things that can’t be wiped up with a paper towel (it adheres to the slop and only makes it worse).

If you must eat a pizza in Buenos Aires, I highly recommend that you eat out. Anything delivered will arrive on one side of the box, looking more like a swollen eye than a pizza pie.

Yes, the Italians can make a bad pizza.

San Marco S.R.L., Piazza San Marco, Florence, Italy

It’s one of those In Theory pizzas, kind of like the crazy-combo pies that chains launch and pull before the coupon hits your mailbox. Yes, this is a French Fry Pizza.

What it amounts to is a pile of potatoes cooked in greasy cheese and pizza dough. It doesn’t work – not in the least. I watched another tourist give it a go and she couldn’t figure it out either. She squiggled a little ketcup onto her piece, took a bite, then threw it in the garbage. I assume that she pointed her hunger towards McDonalds shortly thereafter.

Please, put this miserable, suffering beast of a pizza down.

Evil has a name. It’s whatever this pizza is called.

Suba Galaxy Hotel, Mumbai, India

A foul, atrocious pizza awaits anyone staying at The Suba Galaxy.

I broke budget in order to stay in a soundproofed room that blocked out Mumbai’s consistent howl. My stomach growled for something familiar and eventually I gave into the most primal of urges: Room Servive. The tray arrived, the lid came off and I could have cried. This was not my beautiful house. This was not my beautiful wife.

I implore you. DO NOT EVER put onions inside of a pizza, especially ripe and uncooked offenders. I’d also like to suggest that feta doesn’t work in this context and that mystery greens are not generally acceptable in any form.

This pizza was devious, deceptive and evil.

Turn left at the tree. Head west until you hit Italy.

Italian Pizza, Lonely Beach, Koh Chang, Thailand

You’re thinking that it doesn’t look too bad, this one. This is only because you’ve seen the above pizza pictures. It’s relative, sir/mam. Look at it again. It’s awful!

The first thing that most Thai pizza-makers do is start with a pre-made base, kind of like you’d find in aisle six of Stop & Shop. Many times, they’ll take just about any kind of jarred tomato sauce (I’ve seen Ragu) and add it to cheese that tastes a bit of dirty socks and coriander. The pizza pictured is a fine example.

Yes – It serves us Falang tourists right for ordering pizza in Thailand. Yes – we should know better and just order the Pad Thai like every other backpacker. But no, we can’t resist the promise of a real pizza.

It’s the ladyboy of the food world – we know it’s not real but by-gosh, we’re going in anyway.

We want to hear your pizza nightmares! Feel free to comment below and PLEASE link to a picture, if you have one.

Seattle’s International District: Ken Lund

Enjoying Bubble Tea at Oasis Tea Zone: Special*Dark

Ah, bubble tea. At the Oasis Tea Zone, you can chose from a wide range of flavors for this popular Asian drink including coffee to Thai tea to lychee. Order it as a slushy or get it more on the milky side, but don’t forget to ask for the squishy tapioca pearls.

519 6th Ave S, #120, Seattle, 98104, 206-447-8098

The Real Pho from Green Leaf: mahalie

There’s a lot on the menu at Green Leaf, but pho is the way to go. On dreary winter days, there’s nothing like slurping down this hot Vietnamese noodle soup.

The broth comes in a huge bowl with noodles and your choice of meat. Also choose from cold and crunchy cilantro and bean sprouts, and flavor enhancers like basil and lime. Start off with some fresh spring rolls and you’ll soon forget the rain has long since turned you into a prune.

418 – 8th Ave. S, Seattle, 98104, 206-340-1388
www.greenleaftaste.com

It’s not great food, but for under $5 you’ll get a pot of tea, a cup of soup, and some deep-fried, sugar-coated, Chinese-American food over white rice at Ga Ga Loc. The menu is small but includes standards like sweet and sour chicken. Good enough for lunch, the service is always great, and you’ll leave full.

424 Maynard Ave. S, Seattle, 98104, 206-521-8933

A sushi selection from Maneki: pixie_bebe

You have to plan ahead for dinner at Maneki, but it’s worth the finagling. It’s been around since 1904 which means it survived Japanese internment. These folks know what they’re doing.

How many restaurants can say one of their dishwashers later became the 66th prime minister of Japan? Inexpensive sushi and sashimi and an array of traditional Japanese dishes make for a memorable dinner.

304 6th Ave S, Seattle, 98104, 206-622-2631
www.manekirestaurant.com

What the Tamarind Tree lacks in tastiness for dinner, it makes up for with its dessert. The restaurant is tucked away in non-descript strip mall, but inside it’s delightfully inviting. The enclosed patio with its toasty heaters make dining al fresco cozy, even in winter.

Order anything from the grilled banana cake to the three bean slush, or pick from their array of homemade ice cream—it’s all great. Just stay away from the durian ice cream—unless you demand that your dessert taste like lighter fluid.

1036 South Jackson Street, Suite A, Seattle, 98104, 206-860-1404, www.tamarindtreerestaurant.com

Bento lunch from Uwajimaya (also seen as feature photo):
Jake of 8bitjoystick.com

Uwajimaya, the district’s Asian supermarket, is an overwhelming whirlwind for the Asian food lover. There’s a whole aisle of noodles, and another of tea.

Even if you’re not grocery shopping, you can eat here. The food court has a handful of reasonably priced restaurants serving pho, Thai, Korean and more in a hurry. I recently downed a plate of Rama noodles over baby bok choy smothered in a rich, creamy peanut sauce that had me scraping the sides of the disposable carton it came in.

600 5th Ave S, Seattle, 98104, 206-624-6248
www.uwajimaya.com

One of the varied selections from Unicorn Crepes: armadilo60

One of the magical things about the ID is Unicorn Crepes. If the window display of plastic crepes here seems scary, try one anyway. The ingredients are sometimes bizarre (the chili cheese hot dog crepe, to name one) but the thin, airy pancakes are dreamy.
421 6th Ave. S. Seattle, 98104, 206-652-0637

At the Panama Hotel, history is steeped into your tea. The hotel’s coffee and tea house is charming with its creaky wood floors and old photos of the district, but it has a story, too. It’s the only intact Japanese Sento bathhouse in the U.S., with two marble baths in its basement.

Look through the glass over a cut-out in the floor to see belongings left behind by the Japanese residents when they were sent to internment camps. Oh, and the tea’s great, too.

605 S. Main St., Seattle, 98104, 206-515-4000
www.panamahotelseattle.com

Photo: ainudil

“Matador Joselito Ortega will be plugging a club-scene energy beverage called Gay Up and have those words embroidered into his cape in large, red cursive letters.” (AP)

There are moments when being gay is just fine and dandy, and then there are moments when being gay just plain sucks. It was on about the fourth time that the story was forwarded to me that I knew that this was going to be a real El Suck-O day.

Photo courtesy of Gay Up

Look, I’ll leave the whining about product placement to That Guy. He can bemoan the state of the advertising world, about how every square inch of God’s Green Earth is for sale and how great the old days were, when advertising was just subliminally evil.

I guess if anyone should be pissed then it should be the bull, which should at least be able to make a equal buck displaying its own cheeseburger ad before being slayed or slewn or whatever the hell the past participle of ‘slay’ is.

What yanks my crank is that Ortega – who is, by the way, straight – is playing the Gay Card because his career is in the crapper. According to most reports, Ol’ Joselito is not exactly The Bullfighter Of The Year. He’s been gored many times since his tights-wearing career began in 2006, which is hardly a solid start for a newbie Matador. That’s like a school bus driver killing a few hundred kids before he gets the hang of a big steering wheel.

To be surprised that a pink cape and a gay ad would spark his career is unfathomable, yet Ortega seems to stand by his story that he’s simply trying to break down barriers for both the gay and capitalist communities. He told CNN, “I’m glad to be the first person (in bullfighting) whom the gay community will take as an icon.” Girlfriend thinks he’s Madonna and he’s really just Brooke Hogan.

Says Ortega, “I am a bullfighter. That is not going to change. I am going to go out into the ring as I have done until now, to risk my life, and the seven goring wounds on my body prove that.”

As if there wasn’t enough reason to root for the bull already.

Photo from Hongdae: urbantofu, Feature Photo: closari

Jenny’s Cafe, Hongdae, Seoul

Intimate, funky, homemade. Nothing fancy, just done well. My wife and I used to treat ourselves to this place once a week (well, twice if we felt we really deserved it).

Creamy squash soup, salad, sauteed mushroom sandwich on fresh bread, glass of wine. That’s it. Their other location, tucked away more elusively in a different Hongdae neighborhood, scores points for its gnocchi, but you can’t beat the original. And this in a city where you can get the most delicious Korean food on any corner.

It’s that good.
-Hal Amen, Matador Trips Co-Editor

Gordo Taqueria, San Francisco, CA

I love Gordo because the same people make the burritos every day and they know what they’re doing. It’s the only meal in SF that can fill me up for less than $7 and they’re just so damn good! I eat at least 3-4 of them/week and I can’t think of any other food or restaurant that I could eat so frequently without getting sick of it.

I’ve been eating at Gordo for over 15 years and I’m sure I’ll be eating there for the next 15. www.gordotaqueria.com
-Ross Borden, Founder

Guijie Dajie, Beijing

Photo: preetamrai

On “Ghost Street” in Beijing you can eat meat skewers of all kinds (from your obscure internal organs to straight up beef and chicken), gong bao chicken like you’ve never had it anywhere else, small plates of cucumber salad, thinly fried potatoes, sauteed veggies with garlic, veggie skewers in sichuan pepper paste, sizzling sichuan fish brought to you live in a bag for your approval…and did I mention the 5 yuan tall Tsingdaos?
- Sarah Menkedick, Matador Abroad Co-Editor

Marvin, Washington, DC

Southern comfort classics meet Belgian charm and refinement in this restaurant that’s a tribute to Marvin Gaye’s time spent in self-imposed exile in Ostend, Belgium.

Photo: abbyladybug

A bevy of different moules frites, foie gras and onions, and the best fried chicken and waffles are among the impeccable menu at Marvin, which is located in the historic Shaw Neighborhood on U Street, the heart of jazz and soul in the District.

Add to that an amazing rooftop beer garden and the speakeasy Gibson located around the back, and Marvin will easily be one of the most interesting, unique, and delicious places you’ll ever visit. www.marvindc.com
-Jason Wire,Matador Contributor At-Large

The Ivy, Los Angeles

Photo of The Ivy in all its preppy glory: ChrisYunker

Oh, I know. It’s ridiculous. I’m supposed to be the guy who picks the tin shack in Laos, not the place with a $19 hamburger and valet parking. Somehow, though, I’m charmed by this little faux-house and the celebs that come here to have their paparazzi smeared.

I think that it’s the kind of place I dreamed of as a kid in Wallingford, CT, a place that I surely shouldn’t be allowed into, coming from a town full of townies.www.theivyla.com
-Tom Gates, Matador Nights Co-Editor

Neisha Thai Cuisine, Tyson’s Corner, Virginia

Photo of Pad Thai: closari

Heavily frequented by native Thai customers, a clear indication of its authenticity, its Pad Thai dish is sinfully decadent. Basil and sweet chili aromas wafting out of this joint hypnotizes you before you even step in, and the right amount of oils and spices in every single dish seals the deal.

Be sure to grab a frequent customer card to get some sweet discounts.www.neisha.net
-Lola Akinmade, Matador Goods Editor

La Bodega, San Martin de los Andes, Argentina

In Argentina, a bodega refers to an old-school meal-hall, the kind of place with a set menu of just four or five dishes each day, usually simple and cheap and hearty. The Bodega in San Martin de los Andes is run out of a really cool house–three or four different rooms upstairs and down, most with long tables for family-style dining. Here they serve house red wine out of ceramic penguins.

Photo of Bife de Chorizo: Stella Dauer

Whatever you get will be all-time and the chef and his wife will come check in with to make sure you’ve eaten enough, asking if you want a ‘chapa,’ which is like seconds, thirds, etc. I’ve had some super fat Bife de Chorizo here, Lomo, and also lentil stew. There’s always a vegetarian option, and like nearly everywhere in Patagonia the produce is locally grown–with La Bodega sourcing many of its ingredients from the garden onsite, straight up farm-to-table style.

After dinner there’s fresh-picked mint-tea. The sweetest thing about this place though is you can make reservations for dinnner at one of the private upstairs rooms with sofas, bean-bags, and coffee tables plus TV / DVD / VCR and movie selections from the video store. While you’re watching the film the muchachas will just slip in every once in a while to grab your plates, see if you want coffee, dessert, more mint-tea, or just more penguins.
-David Miller, Matador Senior Editor

Mart 130, Melbourne

This small, old cafe used to be a station master’s building on the tram platform. You can sit inside, outside the front which looks onto a serene Albert Park, or outside the back on the actual old platform and watch tram passengers get on and off on the trams’ regular runs.

The portions are healthy and the quality is fantastic. I recommend the pancake stack with mascarpone, berry compote, and authentic Canadian maple syrup (with a side of bacon, if you will) accompanied by a steaming latte.
-Carlo Alcos, Matador Trips Co-Editor

Blind Faith Cafe, Evanston, IL

Photo: swanksalot

As a vegetarian, I end up eating a lot of pasta when I go out to restaurants with friends. Blind Faith Cafe is wonderful because it caters specifically to vegetarians and vegans – the menu’s completely meat-free. While their offering changes pretty frequently, they’re wizards with seitan, and anything that features it is probably worth trying.www.blindfaithcafe.com
- Adam Roy, Matador Sports – Contributing Editor

Montego Bay, Sandton, South Africa

On Nelson Mandela Square in Sandton, South Africa lies this amazing seafood restaurant, Montego Bay. You can sit outside on the square and enjoy some of the best seafood from the land-locked city. While all of the seafood is exquisite, the langoustine was divine and something I had never quite experienced before.

Reasonably priced, great atmosphere, and excellent food makes this one of my favorite restaurant in the world. Montego Bay is certainly going to be on the list of places to dine when I go back for the FIFA World Cup in 2010.http://www.montegobay.co.za
-Lindi Horton, Matador Sports Intern

The Vietnam Kitchen, Louisville, Kentucky

Photo of Vietnamese Spring Roll: stu_spivack

The Vietnam Kitchen in Louisville is frequented by many homesick Vietnamese from the neighborhood and it’s also the haunt of hipsters who trek to the South End of Louisville to gorge themselves on catfish in a clay pot or the perfect, plump spring rolls served with a sweet sauce garnished with peanuts you might want to eat by the spoonful.

Reasonably priced, the atmosphere may leave something to be desired as you’ll be dining under a florescent glow. If you’re there for the food, you won’t be disappointed. I knew a group of guys that got the number of their favorite dishes tattooed on. Hardcore. (Reviews and address here.)
-Kate Sedgwick, Matador Nights Co-Editor

Parker Pie, West Glober, VT

My favorite restaurant is Parker Pie in West Glover, Vermont, a pizza pub in back of an old-time Vermont general store. Parker Pie is miles away from the nearest paved road, but it’s always packed with Northeast Kingdom locals eating pizza or drinking beer around a campfire in the backyard. www.parkerpie.com/
-Tim Patterson, Matador Man At Large

Giovanni’s – London, England

I cannot help it – I love Italian food, and I love this spot. It’s just in Covent Garden, and it’s a wonderful tiny cafe with all the vibrancy of Italy. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that my favourite Italian restaurant is in England, but I have never been disappointed by the wine, food or service here. I also really enjoy Burgoo, located out here in Vancouver BC on Main Street – their French onion soup is worth the wait. (Reviews and address of Giovanni’s here.)
-Alexandra Barrow, Human Resources Director

Astrid y Gastón, Santiago, Chile

I hate it that my favorite restaurant in Chile is both pricey and Peruvian, but if that’s what it takes, so it goes. Astrid and Gastón plays with sweet and sour, textures and delicious ingredients. The quinoa-encrusted giant prawns are delicious, and the for dessert the fried rice pudding served with cinnamon ice cream might just make you cry.www.astridygaston.cl
-Eileen Smith, Community Outreach

Thai Tom, Seattle, WA

Photo of Thai Tom’s durable menu: closari

Line out the door, totally legit, hole in the wall Thai joint. Anyone who has been to Thailand will attest, those that haven’t, Thai Tom gives you a taste. It is hot, crammed, and the cooks work their magic right in front of you. Complete with dingy, Bangkok style bathroom! Fried tofu with peanut sauce is not to be missed.
-Joshua Johnson

Restaurant Salzamt, Vienna, Austria

If you look up gemütlich in the dictionary, this is what you should find. Vienna has some of the best cuisine of any capital city I’ve been to in recent memory, and Salzamt offers a wonderful blend of both the old world and modern Viennese kitchen.

The interior is a cavernous, vaulted space but the best seats are outside, in an old cobblestone courtyard next to one of Vienna’s oldest churches. The atmosphere is almost electric as violins in the distance fill the area. Although every course is fantastic, this is no time to skip dessert as the pastry chef really makes miracles come true. (Frommer’s Review)
-Andy Hayes

Good Earth, Fairfax, CA

Photo: Nikchick

Ok, this may be a cop-out, but considering I’m the queen of needing gluten-free, dairy-free and preferably organic foods, I gotta say my favorite restaurant is actually the Good Earth grocery store in Fairfax, CA. I can almost always eat every single thing on their hot foods bar, including the scrumptious black bean, sweet potato and brown rice croquettes and cooked greens that are to die for.

Plus, they’ve got a bomb-ass curry chicken salad with raisins in the fridge, right up next to some coconut-yes I said coconut-tapioca pudding. When I’m living there, the staff sees me at least twice a day, and the store gets at least half of my yearly income. Good stuff.www.goodearthnaturalfoods.net/l
-Christine Garvin, Co-Editor, BNT

Mama Schnitzel’s, Sihanoukville, Cambodia

This place was a happening little open-air joint that served up simple chicken sandwiches that were shockingly delicious. It was the kind of place were you constantly heard people talking about it and would think “Nah, there’s no way it’s that good,” but then a single bite would transform you into a true believer.

The atmosphere was always chaotic and full of backpackers either coming to or from the beach. The owners also supplied paper and markers free of charge so the notes written in dozens of languages plastered the walls. Some humorous, some lewd, some insightful, it definitely gave it a fun vibe. (Mama Schnitzel’s on facebook)
-Frank Johnson

Horseman’s Haven Café, Santa Fe, NM

Photo of Green Chile Stew: stu_spivack

Favorite Restaurant is of course more of a moment in time than it is a place you can go back to (or recommend to a friend).

Back in the early divergence of Cuban currencies, there was a ropa vieja at a homey paladar overlooking the Malecón, now lost in the notebooks. Locos con mayo at the market in Puerto Montt. Lamb tajine in Ouarzazate. Four courses of goat cheese at the chèvrerie above the sweltering Loire.

But today, for lunch, the way I feel, if I could have a seat anywhere in the world, it’d be in one of the naugahyde booths at Horseman’s Haven, way down on Cerrillos, before a bowl of Level 1 green chile and a pile of warm flour tortillas. And a cold Budweiser. (Reviews and address here.)
-David Page, Contributing Editor

Flo Hayler decided to start a Ramones museum after receiving an ultimatum from his girlfriend – either his empire of memorabilia went or she did. Four years and 10,000 visitors later, The Ramones Museum Berlin is still going strong.

The collection of over 300 pieces runs the gamut. There are photo shrines, t-shirts, gig posters and even a pair of Johnny Ramone’s jeans. Each item is placed with care and precision – a couple of hours in this room and even a non-fan could soak up the fascinating history of one of the most simple (yet complex) bands in rock history.

Inside the museum.

You’ll be hard-pressed to find a more dedicated fan than Hayler, who describes himself as the “happiest guy on Earth”. Walking through the main gallery, he grins at each item, probably imagining how it came into his care. He admits that some nights he just sits in the main space and stares at the room, imagining how to improve the arrangement of its contents. A bigger fanboy there’s never been.

This is undoubtedly the reason that the museum works so well. It’s less a collection and more a shrine, a labor of love that is easily appreciated by anyone who has ever gone to the dark side of collecting, a world where a lost eBay war might end in tears and tantrums.

Ramones Museum Owner/Obsessed Fan Flo Hayler.

The space also contains Café Mania, which has ended up becoming a hangout for local scenesters. Tourists who stick around for a cup of coffee often find that they leave with more information about Berlin than any guidebook could offer. This is a place to find out every hip event in Berlin for the next month, publicized or not.

The museum also doubles as a performance space, with upcoming shows including Anti-Flag and Jay Reatard. CJ Ramone recently played a set in the space – hundreds of people waited in line for a chance to make it inside and meet a Ramone. Longtime Ramone friend and designer Arturo Vega –the man responsible for The Ramones logo – will make an appearance at the museum’s birthday on October 16th.

Ramones Museum Berlin. Krausnickstr. 23, Berlin, Germany.
www.ramonesmuseum.com

Photo: Incase Designs, Feature Photo: Avoir Chaud

Photo: gloomfairie52

Gearing up for the event, the Canadian born, 28-year-old designer decided to add plus sized models to his showcase and two of his employees were apparently so upset by this that they quit.

I am so curious about the rationale behind these walk-outs that I must speculate as to the frame of mind of these people.

Were the following sentences uttered or thought?

“I must stand on my principles, and so even if it means I’m out of a job, I must stick to my low-IQ-stoner-surfer guns and say, ‘No fat chicks.’”

“I won’t have my name associated with a designer who would stoop to such a level as to let women who don’t spend a quarter of their lives vomiting walk the runway. It shows a lack of commitment to true fashion.”

“Models that take modeling seriously commit to torturous regimens of drug use and starvation. To allow women who don’t ascribe to these basic principles shows a lack of regard for professionalism and reflects poorly on me.”

I would really like to have a look at these quitters to better speculate on whether or not they have eating disorders themselves. Maybe they’re size 12-14s and are blind with jealousy thinking of the modeling careers they missed out on.

In any case, a quick look at the original Daily Mail article reveals photos of models who are considered plus sized, but are not fat by any stretch of the imagination.

This move on the part of Mark Fast has likely brought publicity and new clientele to his fashion label, and I wonder what it’s brought to the two crew members who are running scared.

Community Connection

Interested in fashion? Check out this article from Julie Schwietert on Mizrahi’s salmon skin dress from Matador Change.

Think there;s a place for plus sized models in the world of high fashion? Share your opinions in the comments field below!

Zad

The reason there is no picture of a falafel here is because I whoofed it in thirteen seconds. Located in the Turkish section of Kreuzberg, Zad makes some of the best food in town. Every item in the display is made fresh each morning and only served after it’s been blessed. Blessed food is still scarfed food.

€2.50 Falafel. Reichenberger Str 84, Kreuzberg

Impression: Food with soul. Mood: Ready to Go.

Kreuzburger

Kreuzburger is where the locals go to beef up. I wasted no time in ordering cheeseburger, which was exactly the size of my fist. Toasted bun, slightly spicy burger sauce, loads of pickles, white cheddar, lettuce and tomato. As close to perfection as you can get in Europe (c’mon, we all know there’s no meat in your meat).

€3.00 Cheeseburger. Oranienstraße 190, Kreuzberg

Impression: Burgers aren’t rocket science. Mood: Digesting.

Curry 36

No foodie tour of Berlin would be complete without a round of currywurst at Curry 36, the most famous wurst stop in town. For the uninitiated, the dish in question looks like an oversized hotdog that’s been dressed in curry ketchup, with a warm bun on the side.

Lines often go around the block but I was lucky, hitting some magical hour where only a few of us whoofed the best wurst. Everyone from bankers to cabbies stood around me, wolfing down some of the best mystery meat ever put to paper plate. I wasn’t the only one who licked mine clean.

€1.70 Currywurst. Mehringdamm 36, Kreuzberg

Impression: Worth the hype. Mood: Gurgly.

Pagode

Berlin is gaga for Thai and so am I. Pagode does it better than any restaurant I’ve been to outside of Thailand, probably because they fly ingredients in twice-weekly from Southeast Asia. Four irritated women whiz through dozens of orders in minutes, barking pickups through a PA system that projects towards the curbside picnic tables.

I’ve went for the Tom Yam Gai, a particularly risky post-currywurst choice. I felt my insides begging for mercy as I ladled big spoonfuls of the spicy soup into my gullet. If you ever find yourself in Berlin, point yourself to this place. It’s incredible.

€3.20 Soup Bergmannstrase 88, Kreuzberg

Impression: It doesn’t get any finer. Mood: Potty?

Solo Pizza

Berlin is filled with these little storefront pizza joints, all displaying massive pizzas that are difficult to walk past without a second or third glance. They’re all pretty much the same and are all frigging delicious.

Knowing that I had to pace myself, I skipped the spicier options (Spicy Potato, Salami) and opted for a Rucola slice – a margherita topped with shaved parmesan, tomatos and rocket leaves. One piece is enough to fill most anyone.

€2.20 Slice. Danziger Str. 7, Prenzlaeur Berg

Impression: On the money. Mood: Burpy

Kadewe

Kadewe’s sixth floor is the most delicious place on earth. This massive food hall is set up so that each counter also serves as a restaurant, where a chef can make most anything that’s in the display case. There’s food from all over the world, including an “American Section” that stocks something for every craving, from Bisquick to Thousand Island to Pop Tarts.

I opted for something German, hitting a booth that sold ten different kinds of Wurst. Dude handed me a plate with a massive sausage, homemade saurkraut and a big dollop of mustard. I wasn’t particularly hungry but I ate it all.

€5.70 Meal, Kadawe “Department Store Of The West”. Tauenzienstrasse 21, Shoneberg

Impression: Pricey but unique. Mood: Broke and ready to barf.

“Shop”

As bloated as I was, I took one for the team and grabbed a pastry-y thing on the way home. Most U-Bahn stations are good for fast food, some of them containing dozens of shops and stores. I was only able to choke down a few bites of this tasty treat.

€1.00 Streuselschnecke, U-Bhf. Kottbusser Tor

Impression: Sweet. Mood: Gone too far.

Hot Dog Man

Unwise. But how often are you going to run into a man with a full hot dog setup resting on his hips? These guys (and girls) make the rounds outside of U-Bahn stations and sport a full grill contraption, ready to serve dogs that are so big they won’t fit in a roll. Two bites later, I called it a day.

€1.20 Most U-Bahn stops, especially Alexanderplatz.

Impression: Processed meat is scary. Mood: Done. Totally done.

All Photos: Tom Gates

More Food On Matador

Not full? Be sure to check Tom’s binge in Bangkok. Feel free to also indulge your inner foodie by eyeballing Anatomy of a Smörgåsbord and Matador Nights’ ongoing obsession with carbonated beverages.

The floor at The Overstay. All photos by Greg Goodman

“Please Do Overstay!” exclaims the website for one of the cheapest guest houses we’ve seen in a while. A tour around their site makes this seem like the smartest spot in BKK, a real find for people who are “into exchanging ideas, languages, music, art and love.” The space includes a bar, a music studio, free language classes and nightly dinners. The catch?

“People sleep anywhere they can.”

It turns out that the dormitory, according to The Overstay site, “has the feel of a hippie refugee camp with mosquito nets and big backpack brought by people from all around the world.” Photos from past guests would suggest that it’s more of a pigsty than anything else.

Turning up at The Overstay could be a shock for anyone booking on hostelworld, who make no mention of the dorm conditions.

Mariaborland6641: “Ended up on the floor of a dirty and windowless cell on an unwashed sheet…lay awake sweating profusely. Also no running water anywhere.” (7/7/09, Hostelworld)

“The cleanest at The Overstay.”

Ariana From Canada: “We did not stay at The Overstay because when we arrived there were only drunk men in the ‘lobby’ if that’s what you would even call it and no reception area to check in… I would not recommend any females to stay there and i really do not think it should even be on hostels.com as the check in counter was a bar and they didn’t even have our reservation when we got there.” (9/13/09, hostels.com)

These two wouldn’t be the first to turn up at a guesthouse that has glossed over some of its flaws. But it also doesn’t sound like a fair shake for these guests, who might have looked at The Overstay’s website and expected to enter “Bangkok’s number one chillout spot”, which they further describe as a “six tiered cake of fun and living.”

The question raised is not a new one. Just how much credence should you give booking sites? What does it mean that The Overstay is listed on Lonely Planet’s site, via a re-run of the Hostelworld review?

The same page suggests that booking with LP gives “expert advice from Lonely Planet authors.” Would Lonely Planet list The Overstay if they sent someone to see it? Or is re-running another site’s review simply enough for them, since they’ll pick up a commission on bookings? Either way, somebody’s daughter is spending the night in a squat.

A room. A room?

To be fair, many people seem to dig the bohemian squat space, presumably because they’re sure of what they are getting into. For the right person, The Overstay may be heaven.

Juanluckey writes on The Overstay’s site, “I encourage this place to promote positivity, love, and if you have some creative art talent, that is even better.” TheLostNY describes it as a “diamond in the rough.”

So, we ask. When does spin become mistruth? Do booking sites have the responsibility to do any investigating, beyond what information the hostel provides them? Or does a person expecting clean sheets for $0.62 per night have it coming to them?

The Overstay. Charan Sanit Wong, Number 80-82 next to the Soi 40 in Pinklao, Bangkok. Phone : 028834836

Matador Is Hostel Happy

For a Bangkok hostel of different ilk, check out our review of the badly-named (but nevertheless-blissful) Lub*d. Our ever-popular guide to hostel sex is also out there, waiting for you to take it into a quiet corner. For some completely different crash-space, lend an eyeball to some of the coolest campers around.

Photo and Feature Photo: peterme

It commemorates a proclamation made by the first Chilean governmental committee in 1810, and lasts (at the very least) two days.

There are wholesome family events, parties in the countryside and games of the hopscotch-like rayuela, kite-flying, and greased-pole scaling. There are many, many renditions of the cueca, the national dance, a coquettish stalk-and-surrender dance reminiscent of a mating dance between a rooster and hen.

Chile is wine country, though it tends to export much of what it produces, Chilenos consider wine part of the national heritage, and wouldn’t miss a drop during this upcoming celebration. There’s a wine menjunge (mix) for everyone, as well as beer and pisco-based drinks.

Photo of terrmoto courtesy of the author

Red
On Sept. 18th you won’t see much of the fancy bottled wines for which Chile is rightfully famous. The highly-prized Chilean Merlot and Carménère take a back seat to the affectionately-named Cartonere, the local name for boxed wine (cartón meaning cardboard). Popular brands include Gato Negro, Clos de Pirque and Planella.

In a pinch, though, any tetrapak wine will do. These are drunk by the cup from the box or mixed with coca cola to make the famous jote, a drink whose name also means vulture (particularly in the sense of a man who’s on the prowl). It’s a spring-to-fall drink favored by teenagers.

White
White wine also appears on the 18th, though most commonly as ponche, a mixture of white wine and in-season fruit, which at Fiestas Patrias usually means canned peaches. The difference between this and the delicate borgoña served at other times of year is that borgoña arrives by the wine glass and ponche comes in a vessel big enough to go dunking for apples in, and is served in glasses.

Green
Green (or young) wine forms the backbone for the unusually-named terremoto (earthquake), which in the coastal town of Valparaíso is also known as a tsunami. It’s a scoop or two of pineapple ice cream with green wine poured over it until it tops off the glass. It’s served with a straw which is churned up and down through the drink until it is mixed. A successive serving of the terremoto is predictably, called a réplica, or aftershock. Attempt this at your own risk, as the terremoto is famous for the resaca (hangover) it leaves in its wake.

Not Really Wine
Chicha is not really wine, though it’s sometimes made from grapes.

Photo of bottles of chicha courtesy of the author

It’s a sweetish, cider-like fermented drink favored by cheap drunks and people who don’t much like alcohol, though if you consume enough of this 8 proof drink, you can do some damage.

Traditionally it’s made in earthenware jugs in the country, and is sold topped with something porous, so it doesn’t explode. At Fiestas Patrias chicha de uva (grape chicha) and chicha cocida (cooked chicha) show up in 700 ml. bottles at the supermarket and in the hand of many a reveler. In the South it’s chicha de manzana (apple chicha) that takes center stage.

Pisco Sour
Chile’s main spirit is pisco, over which it argues with Peru for bragging rights. Pisco sour is the order of the day, a tangy yellow libation with just a touch of froth on top. It’s a mixture of limon de pica (similar to a key lime), sugar and pisco, occasionally with bitters sprinkled on top. On the 18th of September many people will go for cheap over tasty and buy a bottle of Capel or Campanario pisco sour, or any of the newer variations like berry or mango sour, all made with pisco.

Pisco Mixers
The younger set will choose to mix their pisco with Coca Cola, making the famous and overdone piscola. Piscola is a late-teen to twenties drink that would have native English speaking youth in stiches over its name. Toilet humor aside, piscola is prevalently drunk throughout the year, but holds a special spotlight on the 18th as its prime demographic drinks their blood volume in alcohol.

Pichuncho
If the younger set chooses to use a mixer to dilute their pisco, there is also a set of people who chooses a more potent mixer, and doses their pisco with vermouth. Pisco, vermouth and a slim slice of lemon complete this punch-packing drink.

Straight Up
The south of Chile has the water and hops-growing regions of Oregon in mirror image where a vibrant set of German-style brewers live, and produces some fine craft beers. But Fiestas Patrias prizes quantity over quality, and because you’ll see it consumed by the metric gallon at this holiday, pesky little crimped bottle caps do not make an appearance.

Liter bottles of watery Cristal and Escudo abound, with multiple people sharing the same bottle, from plastic cups or straight from the source. No one bothers to put a bag on the bottle, and everyone knows what you’re drinking and no one cares anyway.

Fanschop

People drinking Fanschop: peterme

A nightmare for the beer purist is the mixture of cheap beer (sometimes on tap, sometimes from a bottle) with Fanta. It’s refreshing and very bubbly, and you’ll be surprised to see that this has something of a genteel reputation, a good girly drink suitable even for grandmothers.

Before the holiday is out, you may find yourself awake, somewhere between drunk and hungover and hungry. The traditional hangover foods in Chile, available in Santiago at the Mercado Central from old favorites like Donde Augusto, are caldillo, a clear seafood-based soup or consomme de gallina (chicken soup).

The view from Donde Augustín overlooking the
Mercado Central courtesy of the author

It’s generally accepted that these remedies barely scratch the surface, and it’s common for people to show up to work after Fiestas Patrias with more than a whisper of alcohol wafting from their pores, and sunglasses firmly clamped to their faces.

That Fiestas Patrias is a veritable alcohol bath does not go unnoticed by Chilean authorities, who campaign every year for people to not drink and drive, though alcohol-fueled car accidents claim victims each year.

Other health ramifications include the 3 plus kilos (nearly seven pounds) most Chileans can expect to gain over this holiday. If it’s not the alcohol, it’s the empanadas, the anticuchos (kebabs), chunchules (grilled intestines), ubre (grilled cow’s udder), choripanes (sausage rolls) or asado (barbecued meat) that do their damage during this once-a-year celebration.

Since next year marks Chile’s bicentennial, the government is planning to grant people the entire week off of work to better celebrate the holiday (better make that 5 kilos).

Community Connection

Want to learn more about how they party in Chile? Check out Renée Saldaña’s article “Learning Experiences: Dancing Cueca in Chile” on Matador Abroad.

Does your interest lean more toward the political? Have a read of another of Eileen Smith’s articles over on MatadorPulse, “What’s going on in… Chile?”

All photos by Angela Corrias.

Like every year on the 6th of July, Sedilo’s top horse-riders charm both locals and tourists gathered around the tiny, pastel-colored sanctuary devoted to St Constantine. They’re here to watch this audacious show, known as S’Ardia.

The undisputed stars of the festival are the first three horse-riders. The leader, Sa Prima Pandela (The First Flag), embodies St. Constantine and has the responsibility of bringing his gold colored flag to the sanctuary. He’s nominated by Sedilo’s parish and appoints his “generals” the second and the third flag (Sa Segunda Pandela and Sa Terza Pandela).

The three Pandelas together designate their three “escorts”, who hold batons they fiercely guard from the rest of the swarm that symbolize the enemies and try to pass the Emperor. There are no winners or losers, but testing the edge of legal security measures works as a reputation booster.

Gathered at the leader’s house, the horsemen head for Piazza di Chiesa (Church Square), where the parish gives them his blessing and officially starts S’Ardia. Anticipated by a line of riflemen, the riders flaunt a plucky self-confidence in the saddle and, proud in their faultless white blouse and typical black trousers, parade through Sedilo towards the sun-soaked field crammed with pilgrims.

Waiting for hours in the Sardinian summer sun, onlookers are overwhelmed by dust and the intense smell of sweat, horses, and gun powder. The initial moments are the most dangerous. This year, a 44-year-old rider fell off his horse and died.

Arguments rage all year over the need for stricter security, but the prospect that S’Ardia might be banned is beyond imagination for participants and residents alike.

Matteo, 29, who’s been running S’Ardia for twelve years, explains, “Only we Sedilesi understand S’Ardia and are not asking anybody else to comprehend. We are fully aware of the danger of the route, that’s why we train – for our own and the other riders’ safety.”

Sedilo’s horsemen are renowned throughout the island for their ability. Matteo devotes his free time to training and looking after his horses. “For me running is an act of faith towards St. Constantine,” he says, “but also love and passion for horses.”

Giulia, 20, one of the two women running S’Ardia, spells out the plain truth. “Yes, there are risks, but we all are aware of the danger we face when we decide to run. Before sitting in the saddle I feel nervous, but once on the horse I don’t think about anything. At the end the only regret is that it’s already over.”

Cristian Chessa, an expert of Sardinian traditions, says, “I don’t think the bill will help prevent accidents, and I find it rather confusing when it compares clandestine competitions to religious events, ignoring that these don’t take place for entertainment or tourism, but to make a vow.” He insists, “Security rules shouldn’t violate the essence of S’Ardia, and the only way to do this is to leave the burden up to the Sedilesi themselves.”

Similar horse races take place in other villages, but when I mention that to Lino, he smiles patiently and adds,“Don’t be ridiculous. Others might even try their best, but the real Ardia can only happen in Sedilo.”