Jonsi (Sigur Ros) and Alex Make a Cookbook

20 Nov 2009 in Food by Juliane Huang

Photo: rusvaplauke

For years, artistic partners Jonsi, singer for the Icelandic band Sigur Ros, and Alex have been collaborating their talents. One of their more recent projects is a raw foods recipe book titled, Good Heart.

The book, available for viewing and download on the couple’s website, JonsiandAlex.com, features an eclectic compilation of curries, dressings, soups, libations, and desserts that all have one thing in common: none of the ingredients are cooked.

From the website:

“The book holds a small collection of our home-made, Good Heart recipes. These recipes gather fresh and beautiful ingredients and are simple and easy to make. We hope this book will encourage improvisation and experimentation… so feel free to substitute your favorite ingredients in and out as you like.”

Though the food photos are less than stellar and the handwritten notes can be a bit hard on the eyes, after years of offering up their creative souls to the public, Jonsi and Alex are now serving their personal lives as well. Clicking through the recipe book, it becomes startlingly clear just how inviting and welcoming the two are. Fans will undoubtedly appreciate this intimate look into the domestic side of Jonsi and Alex.

Interested in healthy cooking? Author of The Adventure Cookbook Sofia Brandon wrote her book after quitting her stressed corporate lifestyle to travel the world and focus on her health again.

Want to learn more about Iceland? Filmmakers Thomas and Tim had the fortune of being shown around Reykjavik by a local everyman. You can catch the video here.

Earlier this month, MatadorTrips Editor Hal Amen reported on Iceland being named the #1 economic tourist destination of 2010.

Additionally, Matador editor Paul Sullivan documented his trip to the fascinating country in this beautiful photoessay.

Interested in Icelandic culture? Want to show some love to Jonsi and Alex? Leave your comments below!

Matador Reader’s Pizza Picture Trumps Our Worst – Can You?

19 Nov 2009 in A Note from the Editor(s) by Tom Gates

The Baccalau Beast. Photo by Hedonist Cat

We received a picture of this pizza from Matador reader Pele Omori. Then we threw up.

A few weeks ago I uncorked a bottle of cheap wine and opened iPhoto. Staring down some gnarly looking pizza photos I’d taken, I decided to rank the five worst I’d encountered this year. The piece was picked up in a few places including The New York Times’ Travel Blog. As I told a friend, I could write a 1,500 word masterpiece that will make nine people weep but if I throw up five goopy pizza pics and suggest that one is masturbating, well, the clicks keep coming.

The article was also translated into Spanish, causing me to become the epicenter of some kind of
food fight that’s been brewing in Buenos Aires. I generalized where I shouldn’t have and have promised that come January, when back in Argentina, I will point my mouth towards whatever pizza is suggested as good. I’ll be happy to eat my words – always have been.

One comment about the piece caught my eye. Pele Omori (of the foodie blog Hedonist Cat) recalled a pizza that she had had in Portugal, which I have since named The Baccalau Beast. One email later, I had a picture of this man-made abomination. I had to admit, it looked worse than anything I’d seen this year.

Taken at Papa Pizza in Evora, Portugal, The Baccalau Beast looks horrifying. For the uninitiated, baccalau is salted cod, a staple in the Portuguese diet. I’ve had two run-ins with this version of the fish and neither of them ended well. It is oily and yellow and almost seems uncooked even when it’s cooked. The texture must be close to that of human flesh. So, when I saw it on pizza I went fetal and started rocking in a corner.

We’ve had some great food pieces on Nights in the past few months, including Rev Dave Ciancio’s drool-able spread on big, beefy burgers. I’d like to throw this out there: If you have pictures and a hunger for food, we’d love to hear about it.

Best, worst, biggest, longest…we’re interested. Pop me an email with any and all ideas for food stories and I’d be more than happy to check it out. As long as it doesn’t involve baccalau and pizza. That’s just gross.

tom@matadornetwork.com

Hamster Hotel a Playground for the Sexually Subversive?

18 Nov 2009 in Hostels and hotels by Kate Sedgwick

Photo: dmuth, Feature Photo: jim orsini

According to Reuters, guests have already begun to enjoy the creature comforts of the human sized hamster wheel and as many pellets as they can stuff down their gullets for the price of 99 Euros per night in the Hamster Hotel.

While this may seem innocent enough, a warped mind can come up with a myriad of sadistic games that might be played out in a show of humiliating hamster play to say nothing of whether or not a Volkswagen sized replica of a rectum will be made available upon request for “Gere Style” suffocation play.

Ottawa Citizen reports that the hotel in Nantes, France is owned by Frederic Tabary and Yann Falquerho who run a company specializing in the rental of unusual locations. They quote Falquerho as saying, “The Hamster in the world of children is that little cuddly animal. Often, the adults who come here have wanted or did have hamsters when they were small.”

The article further states this comment was uttered from inside a hamster costume, and I have no doubt that our dear Yann has graduated far beyond the “world of children.” Or let’s at least pray that he has.

The truth is, now that the hamster’s out of the bag, furries on European vacations will surely be packing their best rodent costumes to spend a night in the Hamster Hotel. Cruel masters will be driving their slaves as fast as their dirty little paws can carry them on the wheel, and men who were once terrified little boys seeing their female pet eating her young before their very eyes can reenact the trauma as they are tortured in their hamster costumes.

Get ready to play pretend!

Community Connection

Can’t get enough weird stuff? Read about the 18 weirdest travel jobs worldwide, or Snake Massages & Bull Semen: World’s Weirdest Spas, and as always, we look forward to reading your comments below.

Drury Inn to Serve Up Free Dinner to All Guests

17 Nov 2009 in Hostels and hotels by Kate Sedgwick

Photo and Feature Photo: joeltelling

“Coming Soon,” says the Drury Hotels website in anticipation of what the Midwestern US chain calls its “5:30 Kickback,” a company-wide policy that will include a “free” dinner for every guest between 5:30 and 7:30 P.M.

Photo: brad_holt

Specials will vary from day to day beginning in February 2010 with some unlimited and constant choices, among them carrots and celery and use of the soda fountain. You might need to cash in your your “three free drink passes” to truly enjoy such daily offerings as “Ball Park hot dogs and chili,” or charbroiled meatballs with barbecue sauce, but you can’t beat the price.

The 5:30 Kickback menu brags:
“A good hot dog is a profound experience. Lives will be changed, have already been changed, by the Drury frank.”
— Thomas Jenks, entrepreneur

If you don’t have a cast iron stomach, I have no doubt that this will be the case for you.

While many businesses have used the economic crisis to gouge their customers in secret and insidious ways, it appears that Drury Hotels have made a point of going back to good old customer service values by enticing us with something we all like: free food.

Let’s hope that other businesses that rely on our tourism dollars will come to the same conclusion. You catch more flies with three free margaritas a night than with a poorly stocked, loudly humming soda machine.

Why British Food Isn’t as Bad as You Think

16 Nov 2009 in Food by Natasha Young

Happy Eater of Fish and Chips Photo: lloydi, Feature Photo: davinaware

It’s easy to assume that we Brits don’t care about food.

While our neighbours the French enjoy long, leisurely lunches and fine wines in elegant restaurants, we eat our main meal at the bus stop, drink our own body weight in warm lager and then cradle a donner kebab on the way home like it’s our only friend. We consider chips and curry sauce a square meal and we do unspeakable things to peas.

But many of us love food, really we do. In fact, Britain is a haven for foodies if you know where to look. Thanks to immigration, our lack of culinary snobbishness and our willingness to try anything once, you can find anything you want in the supermarkets on this rainy isle. Even better, unlike Rome or Madrid, you can literally eat your way around the world in London.

However, if you’re keen to sample more traditional British fare, here’s what to look for:

Fish & Chips

Fish and Chips with Mushy Peas Photo: psd

Saying you’ve had British food after trying fish and chips in Leicester Square is like claiming you know all about Italian Cuisine after eating in Pizza Hut.

Instead, do it properly at The Fish Club in Clapham Junction where you can get Red Mullet and Sweet Potato chips to go with your mushy peas.

Otherwise, head to the coast and look for any traditional ‘chippie’ where the queue snakes out the door.

Bangers & Mash

Bangers and Mash Photo: avlxyz

Nobody does comfort food better than us. On a miserable cold day with a hangover to mop up, sausages, mashed potatoes and gravy are just the ticket.

In London, The S&M Café in Islington is the place. Film buffs may recognise it as the café used in the Mod classic Quadrophenia.

Chicken Tikka Massala & Basmati Rice

Chicken Tikka Massala Photo: michaelwhays

No one in India has ever heard of our number 1 favourite dish. Lovingly made just for us, the chicken is marinated in yoghurt and spices before being cooked in a creamy tomato sauce and sprinkled with fresh coriander.

Most British expats would sell their own families to get hold of one of these bad boys.

Check out The Good Curry Restaurant Guide to discover the best Indian English joints.

Traditional English Breakfast

If you’re planning on pounding the streets all day, this is for you. The breakfast of champions and fat workmen, fried eggs, sausage, bacon, mushrooms, bread and tomatoes are followed by toast and tea.

Finish it and you’ll never need to eat again. Ever.

Ploughman’s Lunch

Ploughman’s Lunch Photo: dainee

Britain and Ireland produce some of the best cheeses in the world and that’s a fact, ladies and gentlemen. Look out for strong mature Cheddar, crumbly Wensleydale with Cranberry or blue Stilton.

Order a pint of real ale and a ploughman’s lunch (cheese, bread and pickles) at the Mark Addy in Manchester and you’ve got the real deal.

Scottish Salmon, Jersey potatoes and Norfolk crab

You’ll forgive the Scots for their deep-fried Mars Bars when you taste their salmon. Best served with new potatoes and a salad, Scottish trout is pretty damn fine too. For succulent crab, head to Norfolk on the East Coast of England.

Beer & Pub Grub

If you want to learn about England, go to the pub. Get a drink down a cold stuffy Englishman and before your very eyes he’ll turn into a loquacious comedian. Buy him a couple more and he’ll dance on your table with his underwear on his head.

Besides the in-house entertainment, the pub is the place to sample Britain’s one true passion; beer. Traditional hand-pulled English bitter is darker than lager and an acquired taste. If you like it, let The Good Pub Guide or Camra’s Good Beer Guide show you the way.

To soak up some of the alcohol, rich meaty casseroles like Beef Wellington or Lancashire Hotpot are just the thing.

Sunday Lunch

Roast With Yorkshire Pudding Photo: Annie Mole

It takes some preparing but by God it’s good. Whether you plump for roast beef and Yorkshire pudding (small rounds of thick pancake batter which are baked and smothered with gravy), lamb with mint sauce, pork with apple or chicken with sage and onion stuffing, this is a feast made for sharing.

Crack open a bottle of wine and then sleep it off in front of the TV. If you really can’t make your own, The Albion in London’s Islington have won awards for theirs.

Pudding Heaven

Treacle and Cornish Ice Cream Photo:Kai Hendry

Sweet-toothed travellers need to come to Britain. Frankly, we rock when it comes to pudding.

Rhubarb crumble with Cornish vanilla ice-cream, the meringue shaped heart attack that is Eton Mess, treacle tart, the delightfully named Spotted Dick, they are all utterly delicious and unashamedly designed to make you fat.

If you’re in the North, make a pilgrimage to Bakewell in the Peak District for great trekking and the hands-down mother of all desserts, Bakewell Tart. In London, stuff your face in style at The Brew House in the grounds of a stately home.

#MusicMonday – Ghostly Music and The New Indie Revolution

16 Nov 2009 in Music by Matt Huntington

Michna breaks out. Photo: ffg

Giant record labels are dead. Sorry, Jay Z. Def Jam is just not that cool any more.

The big, corporate labels are dinosaur fossils (insert big high five to the internet here) in an industry that is now thriving off the entrepreneurial efforts of the artists themselves. Successful are the labels that can figure out not only how to distribute their music in new and different ways, but also brand themselves.

One of these labels is on Ghostly International. A passport for flavor, Ghostly is a creative house where art and music live under the same roof. Their makeup and roster has a more unique range of tastes than the Baskin Robbins in Bangladesh.

To get a feeling for their artists and sounds, download the mixtape collaboration,Ghostly Swim, that they did for cartoon loonies Adult Swim.

Another ingenious way to spread their sounds, Ghostly released one of the coolest (and FREE?!) iPhone apps I have seen, Discovery. Simply set your music mood on their color wheel and you’re instantly streaming a mix of their artist catalog.

If you want to dive deeper, I urge you to check out two of my current label favorites, Michna and School of Seven Bells.

Michna’s album, Magic Monday, is a tightly knit piece of instrumental and electronic beat production. Throw on your headphones, press play, and this album will take you on little trip from start to finish.

School of Seven Bells is held together by the heavenly vocals of the two, sexy Deheza sisters and clean sound design of Benjamin Curtis. They got their name from a mythical group of pick pocketing, South American orphans. Another relaxing trip for your ears and mind.

All in all, not too shabby of an output from a label founded in 1999 by a 19 year old, right? We could all learn something from Ghostly.

8 Worldwide Strip Clubs For Dudes Who Like Dudes

15 Nov 2009 in Clubs by Tom Gates

Photo: momguesswhat

It’s true. Men are quite capable of objectifying other men. Here are eight spots around the world where peeping peen ain’t pervy.
Swinging Richards – Atlanta, Georgia, USA

One of the most hilariously named institutions in the world, Swinging Richards is reportedly one of the best male entertainment clubs in the USA. They even offer a bit of pre-gaming online by posting photos and stats of each dancer.

Care to learn a little bit about the guy who’ll be doing the wango tango? Matthew: “I am also an artist!” Parker: “Working ‘hard’ to finish school for an MBA with Finance and Economics. “ And Knight: “Knight doesn’t say much….he doesn’t have to.”

This is primarily a dude-stitution but women are also allowed, although rules state “No skirts above the mid-thigh!! You will be asked to leave or purchase a pair of shorts.”

Photo by: illyjilly

Remington’s – Toronto, Canada

Remington’s has been an institution in Toronto for over fifteen years. Yelp reports varied reviews. One poor soul warns, “If you get a private dance be careful to keep track of the number of songs that play. You are charged $20 PER SONG, not per dance.” One question – does the Grease megamix count as one song or three?

Aspiring Go Go Boys: The club’s website also has an explanation of how to apply, claiming that dancers can earn over $1,000 a week, paid daily in cash. The author may have just found a way to supplement his Matador salary.

Bar Taboo – Montreal, Canada

Bar Taboo is the kind of place where men take off their wedding ring and spend their daughter’s college money on guys working themselves through university or a drug problem. For the love of all that is matrimony, do not let your significant other attend a business conference in Montreal because there is no business conference in Montreal. There is Bar Taboo.

Hulk SMASH fellow stripper. Photo by: thewhitestdogalive

Tawan – Bangkok, Thailand

Tawan is one of the longest running gay clubs in Bangkok, catering specifically to those who like massive roid-monsters. It’s the kind of place that The Hulk or The Thing would strip at.

And just like that, the image is there for the rest of your life.

Escape – Prague, Czech Republic

About.com reports that this is the kind of place where “many – if not most – creatures in this saucy basement nightclub are looking to initiate business relations with you.” Visions of creepy old sex tourists are accentuated by photos on the club’s site, which show dancers in Zorro masks and angel wings.

Dick’s Cabaret – Phoenix, Arizona, USA

A strip club near the airport in Phoenix. No good can come of this. This is the joint where American Idol contestant David Hernandez once worked, reportedly appearing fully nude and performing lap dances. Start googling, perverts.

Photo by: momguesswhat

Silverado Gay – Portland, Oregon, USA

This place looks ridiculously raunchy. Silverado offers one question: “What are men made of? Snips and snails and puppy-dog tails and we got them all 7 nights a week.” This is probably not the career choice the dancers’ mothers were anticipating for their sons.

Arrow Nashville – Nashville, TN

Nashvegas recently opened its very open all-male gentleman’s club (it also allows female patrons). Citysearch gives it five stars, with one reviewer calling it “a great place to forget about the damn economy and have a fun time.”

You can follow Arrow on Twitter on their to learn about special events, like Manhunt Amateur Package Night.

Community Connection

Looking to get hitched? Peruse our Best American Spots For a Same-Sex Wedding. If you’re looking for some good morning-after dirt, check out 8 of the World’s Greatest Sex Scandals.

Tribes and Tribulations: The Characters of Egypt Festival

14 Nov 2009 in Festivals by Nick Rowlands

The ancient tribal endurance competition “tug of war.” This and all photos: Nick Rowlands

The second Characters of Egypt festival took place in Wadi El Gemal – an isolated national park in the South-Eastern Desert – between October 29th and 31st, 2009. Promoted through a slick-as-snake-oil website and a Facebook group, this was a tribal gathering for the 21st Century. Bus-loads of Bedouins from all over Egypt were brought down to the site, and the press were out in force.

The idea was that tourists and tribes would all interact with and learn from one another. Events were planned so visitors could find out about tribal law and customs, desert survival skills, and native plant medicines. There was to be singing and dancing, competitions and traditional games – a veritable orgy of enlightened cultural exchange.

Something a little more traditional.
This and all photos: Nick Rowlands

This would have been great, had the event been organised in any way at all, but nobody had a clue what was going on.
The programme might as well have read:

Day 1: 11:00 A.M. – 7:00 P.M.:

Wander aimlessly around site, homing in on any gathering of more than four people.

Hope to be fed at some point.

Day 2: See Day 1.

Day 3: See Days 1 & 2, though we might go somewhere else.

Many of the advertised events never happened. Others took place at random times and in random locations, as if some capricious desert god were rolling the festival equivalent of love dice. Entire museums, and even a whole tribe, appeared to have been mislaid.

It’s hard to tell if the festival was deliberately misrepresented, or organised by a bunch of ADD stoners who really believe there’s a devil in the details, and so decided not to bother with any.

The first day in particular was a nightmare – a genuine press feeding frenzy. This international bunch of rapacious vultures were thrusting their cameras in the face of anyone wearing a headscarf, pecking and screeching at each other as they fought for their ultimate tribal dancing money shot.

It was embarrassing, and stank of condescension with fruity undertones of colonialism. The lack of cultural sensitivity was astounding. During the communal Friday prayers, one hack – equipped with a telescopic penis extension so large it had to be strapped to his body like a suit of armour – filmed the proceedings from a distance of all of six inches.

One character of Egypt.
This and all photos: Nick Rowlands

Blithely wandering up and down the rows of the devout, he looked like he wanted to conduct the prayers himself.
The tribesmen responded to this with a mixture of amusement and disdain. One young boy summed it up perfectly, saying, “I don’t understand why they are here. Every time we do something, they put their camera on us. I want them to go away.”

The corporate nature of the event is also questionable. Apparently, it’s perfectly OK to have an eco-tourism festival whose official sponsor is Aboul Fotouh, a company “considered a pioneer in the automotive industry in Egypt.” (Their words.) I know we live in a cynical world in which the harsh realities of money trump ethics, but isn’t that like having Monsanto sponsor the local farmers’ market? It was particularly disappointing since the Wadi El Gemal camp and Science Center are involved are a number of environmental and social responsibility projects.

These days, when any yin-yang can chuck up a tent in the middle of nowhere, light a few candles, label themselves “eco” just to watch those green dollars roll in, organisations like this have a responsibility to walk the walk.
Just picking up your rubbish doesn’t cut it. If practicalities prevent you from installing things like composting toilets, biogas generators, or solar water heaters, that’s understandable. But cosying up with a car manufacturer, Egypt bloody Air, and Dasani not-so-mineral water, is just plain wrong.

Siwi Stilt Dance This and all photos: Nick Rowlands

Another big festival selling point was the tribal games. They were like a surreal school Sports Day arranged by a bunch of eleven-year-old anthropology students.

The ancient tribal perambulation: The Piggyback
This and all photos: Nick Rowlands

Over the three days, seven teams competed in such traditional bedouin sports as long jump, high jump, and tug of war. The only thing missing was an egg-and-spoon race. (The eggs were needed for dinner. We got one each, and a plate of cheese.)

The camel race, however, was as bedouin as it gets. Magnificent beasts thundering through the desert at speeds of up to 50 km/h, their riders urging them on with whips and improbable noises. A pity no one bothered to tell us it had started. The first anyone knew of it was when the winning camel sailed over the finishing line, breezed through the camp, and settled down in its paddock for some post-race rumination.

On the other hand, finding the tribal dancing performances was easy: just zoom in on the mesmerising blend of pulsating drum beats, enthusiastic clapping, and haunting, ethereal melodies. The issue here was that you couldn’t see anything through the melee of cameras and microphones.

The funny thing is, with the exception of the local Bashariya and Ababda tribes, everybody at the festival was a tourist. Lots of the bedouin (from South Sinai in particular) have made a mint through tourism, and sport the latest iPhone or digital SLR with as much pride as their traditional dress. They were as snap-happy as everyone else.

Interestingly, many were as fascinated by the journalists as they were by the other tribes, and delighted in taking photographs of them. Bedouin taking pictures of journalists photographing bedouin…welcome to the postmodern world of the tribal nomad!

A Particularly Impressive High Jump
This and all photos: Nick Rowlands

Despite all the problems and inconsistencies with the festival, it’s important to say we did have a good time. It was cool to meet and interact with tribesmen from all over Egypt. The evenings were brilliant, as each tribe gathered around a fire in their own camp to sing, dance and play music which was much less contrived than the staged performances of the day.

People were fire-hopping from camp to camp, seeking out the best parties. As the organisers, tribesmen and other tourists all came together, the imposed “event” became a shared celebration. It was in this space that the festival came closest to fulfilling its vision of “peace, generosity of spirit and mutual respect.”

Here’s hoping the organisers get it right next year.

How To Make Your Own Flavored Vodka

13 Nov 2009 in Drinks by Alex Nolette

Photo: elvispresley

Bacon flavored vodka? You bet. The act of flavoring or “infusing” vodka yourself is not difficult and is becoming wildly popular.
Pick Your Flavor for Infusion

There are countless options to choose from when it comes to vodka flavors. You can use any fruit, vegetable, herb, or even a strip of bacon as your own taste playground.

Maybe you’ll want watermelon or citrus vodka on those hot, sunny days, or maybe warm yourself up during those chilly nights with honey pepper vodka or the newly popular tea vodka.

Photo by: sonofparker

Prepare the Ingredients for Infusion

Choose one to two pieces of fruit or veggies or two to three handfuls of berries, herbs, etc. Since you will likely be straining out the ingredients at the end of infusion, it doesn’t matter if you cut them in big pieces, slice them thin or muddle them.

Beware: If you choose to muddle or thinly slice your ingredients, the vodka will take on a more distinct color and flavor from them, which may be overbearing for stronger flavored ingredients.

Preparing the Infusion Vessel

Photo by: mccun934

It’s a good idea to find a big jar with a large mouth opening, to be able to fit all your ingredients (make sure the lid has an airtight seal). You can find big lemonade jars with spouts at most of your local superstores (these are really useful, since you can taste your vodka periodically throughout infusion, to get just the right flavor).

Make sure you clean your jar well with hot water and dish soap and make sure it is completely dry before you begin.

Infusing the Vodka

Now it’s time to throw all your ingredients into the jar with the vodka. A fifth of mid to high-end vodka will be your best bet, because the better vodka has been distilled more and has a more neutral taste to grab the flavor of the ingredients. Feel free to use more or less vodka depending on the occasion. Shake well, than set your jar in a cool, dark area of your choice.

Waiting and Macerating

Maceration (when the alcohol leaches out the properties of the ingredients) is now occurring inside the jar. If you have a pour spout on your jar, you can check the flavor as much as you want, although it is only necessary to check every 24 hours. Give the jar a good shake every time you check the taste.

Photo by: goosegoddesss

Storing and Serving

If you are happy with your achieved flavor, grab a strainer and a bowl (a standard kitchen strainer should be fine, although if the ingredients were muddled it may be best to rubber band a couple pieces of cheesecloth to the lid for fine filtering).

Strain your flavored vodka into the bowl, and decide what container you want to store it in (you can funnel it back into the original bottle, or you can use that handy dandy, pour spout jar for easy serving). Once it’s in the serving container, place it in the refrigerator or freezer to preserve freshness.

You are now ready to hold your own infused vodka party and let everyone enjoy the benefits of your frugality!

Community Connection

Looking for something non-alcoholic to create? Try South America’s drink of choice, mate. If you’re out for a binge instead, see our tips for drinking in Prague and Iceland.

Tweet Regret – The Morning After Hurts Just as Bad on Twitter

12 Nov 2009 in Culture by Candice Walsh
Ever wake up with the room spinning and your skull cracking, wondering if anyone else feels as crappy as you do? They do. The following is the best of the Twitterverse from drunkards all around the world.

Photo: marksteelenz, Feature Photo: philosophygeek

So I was drunk in the bed of a moving truck last night… Hit a speed bump and somehow rearranged my face.. Cut, blood, whiskey hangover…

worth it just for the drunk midgets

definitely hooker spit. definitely poor choices. definitely hungover.

Getting ready to meet my friend for some chicken wings, beer and football, in Farmville.

got shitty drunk with my husband last night and for the first time said sorry for intentionally running someone over with my car

i’m going to feel so bad for my twitter when i look at it and i drunk tweeted myself…

it feels wrong to go to church hungover

My butler George says his hangover is probably caused by the the bottle of champagne he drank after his usual bottle of Scotch and 10 beers.

some fat old drunk guy broke into our house and tried to fight everybody.

apparently being drunk, and riding a tricycle, can still get you a DUI.

Now I know why those shots were called blue eyed blondes. They’ll kick you in the face and steal all your money.

i’m not sure if which was worse, getting robbed or a 52 year old drunk man in my house at 3 am trying to sell weed. i hate this street.

I learned a valuable lesson last night — never get drunk on an open tab. I’m sure there are more lessons to be learned from last night.

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