One of the things luring you to travel is the same thing that motivates you to do anything else – women.
The promise of sex with a foreigner crosses your mind as you make your reservations, browse hostels online and pack your bags.
Photo and feature photo: masochismtango
Will the women in the countries you visit be interested in you? I can’t help you with that part, but it does seem in the places I’ve been that the guys who are foreign (you) have the cachet of being from somewhere else. Depending on how you work it, you could be attracting girls left and right, but they won’t be going anywhere with you if you seem like a bummer of a lay.
Girls can tell a lot about whether they want to sleep with you in a few moments of closeness. Allow me to share a couple of tips with you so you can make those moments count and get a second chance.
Desperation is obvious.
Before you even go out, you have to get the stink of it off of you. Whatever it takes to you to calm the hell down, do it. There’s nothing that’s more of a turn off than a sexually desperate guy.
It’s all about the kiss.
Guys, I can’t stress this enough. Once you’re into kissing, take it slow. Follow her lead and tempo. Far too many guys never get a second chance because they treat kissing like a game of thumb war, determined to take down the opponent’s tongue. Don’t try to choke her out or restrict her wind pipe. It’s not hot.
You should look at it as a way of getting to know her, not a way of proving that your tongue can go into turbo drive. Be calm and self assured in your kissing and don’t get too fancy – at least not at first.
Photo: manu_el_o_matic!
Groping – Don’t give her the bad touch.
Be aware that a man’s and woman’s ‘erogenous zones’ do not operate in the same way. If you haven’t figured it out yet, the skin of the vagina is like delicate tissue paper compared to what you’ve got. If you get that far, don’t treat the crotch of a girl as you do your own.
Rule of thumb (and fingers): Use 1/10th the pressure you would on your own genitals. If she wants it harder, she’ll make up for the torque you’re lacking – then you can adjust.
Tip – Try using the flat of your hand. In the dark and through layers of clothes, it’s just inadvisable to go digging a single finger. Use the butt of your hand to rub the general area. You’ll be able to tell when you’re doing it right.
The most important thing is to be aware of her.
Is she responding to what you’re doing? Change it up and see if she seems to like it any better. Pay more attention to her reaction than to your pal downstairs and you might make enough of an impression to get her to pay a little attention to him.
Women like to think that you’re interested in what they have to say – maybe you even are. If you’re not, you’ll have to fake it. This extends to getting it on as well. Ask her. If she is quiet and less than expressive, ask if she likes the way you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s such a rare thing to do, you’re bound to impress her. If she’s embarrassed to say, ask her to show you.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, guys, but there are some nuggets of information that can serve you well on your home turf as well as abroad. Use your foreign charm and knock ‘em dead.
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This post is absurd. What kind of website is matador becoming. I don’t want to waste time with details but I wanted to make it known that this is just plainly stupid. I’m a 27 year old male and not some 70 year old grandmother. Seriously you’re so weird for writing this article
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I agree with “dude”… Im 23/male and this is not really what I come to THIS site for and further more – it has nothing to do with its title – “…Impressing FOREIGN Women”, Foreign being the keyword… Confussed really…
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I agree with the fact that this article is not travel-related; I was expecting something more like “flirting tips” for the traveler and not a technical manual on how to use one’s hand.
Don’t get me wrong, what Kate is saying is valid, but shouldn’t be on this site. Even off-context, I still found the article rather incomplete.
P.S: when traveling, being “exotic” works its own magic, no doubt about that!
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re Desperation is obvious – take a tip from There’s Something About Mary – just be careful what you do with the “hair gel”!
re The bad touch – I think a lot of guys learn their moves from porn. And if you haven’t noticed, they don’t exactly treat the women all that gentle. Guys: porn isn’t real life.
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The fact that this gets to be written and posted on Matador is why I love this site in the first place.
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So, basically, this has little to do with “foreign” women, but just women in general. Somewhat decent tips for someone who has zero experience or clue what the hell they’re doing, but it ain’t a travel article. Just saying.
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I’ve come to the conclusion why you don’t have a 4 tips for attracting foreign men article. cause it’s only one tip:
BE A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!
The Travel Expert(a) and an Expat with a Twist↵ -
Thanks, guys and to N:
The intended audience is anyone who might enjoy it, but the article is directed towards those guys out there who don’t have a clue (an appallingly large percentage in my experience) – who may find themselves the object of curiosity and possibly affection by virtue of their foreign status.
You might be very surprised at the way loser guys from overseas suddenly are the object of female attention because their accent is cute or some-such nonsense. If this is a purely American phenomenon, I’ll eat my hat.
In that regard, it is travel related.
Also, Dude – Your grandma is fucking kinky!
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I posted a comment here that was removed. Can Kate or the administrator who removed it please explain why? I do not believe that my comment was any more inappropriate than the original article itself (i.e., not at all).
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B Knight – I didn’t remove your comment and in fact I see no record of it.
Perhaps you’re confused. There is a comment by you at Notebook. In searching moderated comments forwarded to my inbox, there is only a history of that comment and this one.I would recommend posting it again if you’re concerned over its whereabouts. I don’t know what else to suggest.
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Kate: Thanks for looking into it for me. Not sure what happened to the message. My original message was basically the following:
Interesting post, although I know of those who might approach things a bit differently:
On sex: http://www.rooshv.com/2008/it-doesnt-matter-if-she-orgasms-or-not
On jerking off to reduce desperation: http://www.rooshv.com/2008/jerk-off-management-101
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Bryan thanks for the shout-out.
The worst thing a man can do is take advice from a woman on how to get laid. The subject alone makes it a dud… “tips for IMPRESSING”
If you’re consciously trying to impress a girl, you’re not getting laid.
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I do not want to offend anyone, but if it happens I am sorry.
With that said:
I am married to a “foreign” woman and I have to say that I am so glad I did not marry a North American Woman. Foreign women are so much different. They are not afraid to be women, for one. They don’t mind showing weakness, they like to be protected, and they like to take care of their man.
Women here are almost trying to become men. They want to take control and be strong and be independent. These are not bad qualities at all, but what ever happened to the days of femininity? Foreign women are more attractive to us North American men because they are still feminine. They don’t stand for sexism either, but they are still women. Not some angry, controlling, stuck-up hybrid.
Most “Foreign” women I have met say that they feel sorry for us North American men because we have to live with such bi*ches. lolI am not sexist and do not think that to be a feminine woman means you have to be weak and useless. I just think that we lose so much of ourselves in our fast-paced, career focused society that everyone is in a hurry to prove how successful they are instead of enjoying each other and our experiences.
Well thats just my opinion.
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“Most “Foreign” women I have met say that they feel sorry for us North American men because we have to live with such bi*ches. lol
I am not sexist”
T, next time you find yourself saying I’m not sexist, it probably means you are. If you find yourself calling an entire continent of women bitches, you probably downright hate women.
How would you feel if I started raving about the manliness of foreign men who know how to please a woman because they didn’t squander the best years of their life behind a desk working a souless job like Norrth AMerican men. If I thought foreign men were manlier than North American men because they knew how to work with their hands or because size does matter and my travels to Kenya proved that? Actually, the best lover I ever had was a foreigner> Maybe it was just a coincidence, or maybe it’s because he hadn’t been brainwashed by porn and understood that women had needs to and knew exactly how to satisfy them
It’s sad but the biggest difference between North American woman and many of the foreign women you are clearly preying on is finances. And I’d rather be percevied as a stuck up bitch with the freedom to be single, than a poor girl who has to date the likes of you.
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Thank you Kate for the entertaining read and to T: I saw a guy wearing a tee-shirt that said,” I use to be a sexist but bitch’s hate that shit.”
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T- Since when does being strong, in control and independent equate (in a woman) to angry, controlling and stuck-up? Why are these same qualities (strong, in control and independent) in a man okay and not in a woman? Perhaps it is time to update your version of femininity?
Sexism is defined as discrimination against someone based on their sex. This is exactly what you have done in your post.
I’m sad for you that you dislike women of your own country so much.
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If ou have to pretend to be interested in what she’s saying, she may not be worth having sex with. And never try to have surprise butt sex.
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I second everything Miller has said.
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1. Yes, i like that matador can put out these ’sort’ of articles. In fact, i love it.
2. This premise had some promise of a entertaining read
3. It went nowehere. I’m not offended or put off, but there’s nothing in this that makes it a travel worthy read, which is what it set itself to be atthe start.
4. I’m not quite sure why I am dissing the piece, i usually dont.
5. On reflection, it might be because I like the stuff I read here, so am making a point of something that disappointed me…
happy travels.
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i can’t believe this website… I just happened upon it through a search about something entirely different.
This whole blog/site/whatever seems to be just a forum for spoiled ugly (in the worst sense of the word) Americans seeking to “go native” or travel the world in order to exploit it (as in the so-called avant-garde ethnomusicologist who mines underdeveloped countries for music only to hand the material over to European and American music producers), or to find women (and men) to fulfill their lust for the “exotic”…
Give me a break you bunch of sad wannabees.
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Seriously?
I’m not sure why matador would commission such an article, but even though they did this could have been a much better piece than it was. ‘4 Tips to get loser’s laid’ would have been a better title, and the ‘impressing foreign women’? I don’t really see the relevance for this site. Perhaps either the editorial line needs to be examined, or your writing need to become more concientious of who you’re writing for.
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I was surprised by this article title because based on my experiences living abroad (well, in Asia anyway) men don’t seem need any tips on how to impress foreign women…they just seem to be able to magically show up anywhere, smile, and they have women falling all over them. Ok, that’s an exaggeration…but only slightly!
These tips seem a little well, general. And a little junior high. Don’t most men over the age of 20 already know all of this? I mean, kissing tips? How to get to second base?
I’d like to see a longer, more complete list next time. Maybe one that involves tips on cross-cultural dating. I think that the foreigner-status is enough for most men to attract women abroad, but keeping those women around is the difficult part. Cultural and language differences put definite strains on relationships.
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LOL! Thank you so much for posting this! If for no other reason than the hilarious comments at the end. I find that Matador is awesome because of the vast range of contributors and readers who are a part of it.
Seriously folks, to everyone who disses this post and makes a big deal out of it…do you realize just how big this site is? Do you realize that you could have read the first paragraph, decided you didn’t like the content, and buggered off? Do you realize the fact that by remaining here, finishing the whole post, and staying to comment, that you contributed to the entertainment value of the post? Hope that one makes you feel real warm and fuzzy inside.
Listen Kate: thanks for being vulnerable for long enough to put something out there that you thought was valuable to others, and allow them to post whatever the hell they wanted to about it…keep up the interesting work.
To all the complainers: you are in matador nights…not every last post has to be directly related to travel in the precise way that you expect…grow some balls out there in the real world and stand up to your boss who is pissing you off…don’t jump online and fuck around with people, without leaving a picture (lol…as someone is bound to complain about, I don’t have one because I’m not a member, just on here often) and without having any chance of anyone ever bringing it back against you…↵ -
If you’re the kind of guy who needs to read this article, this article is not going to help you.
You know?
L
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