What bores some stiff gets others that way.

For most of us, these are about as exciting as watching dust accumulate. For those with very specific tastes, there’s nothing more arousing than a woman blowing her nose or an overinflated balloon.

While you may scoff, don’t write the fetishist off. Just think of how generous they may be when indulging your freakiness after searching for years for someone to enthusiastically stomp toys for them or cheer them on while they writhe in lycra.

And while it might not make sense to you, imagine the ease of a life that requires nothing more to achieve satisfaction than a warm exhaust pipe or a pile of down parkas. No messy breakups. No awkward first dates.

The people who put videos of their children with balloons on the internet ought to be cognizant of the fact that there are people out there (AKA ‘looners’) for whom the act of blowing up balloons is erotic. Blowing, popping – the suspense – it’s undeniable.

This guy was plausibly caught unaware, posting himself blowing up a balloon until it popped. Surprised at the number of views he got, it seems there is a certain percentage of erotic balloon enthusiasts who prefer their blowers wistfully unaware of their erotic powers.

If the human quotient is too cumbersome, sometimes it’s all about the balloon.

Buster is especially animated and entertaining. Just look at that twinkle in his eyes.

Don’t believe me? Go ahead and check out the comments in YouTube if your skeptical.

A quick search for zentai or unitard on eBay will reveal a world you never imagined. It’s not about getting undressed, but about being completely covered and perhaps further immersed in water or mud.

Many of us experience momentary disgust with ourselves in those moments after bring ourselves to climax, but what about this guy? He’s got a good hour of cleanup ahead of himself once the afterglow fades.

It’s easy to understand how tickling can be eroticized. If the axiom that fetishes come from mildly traumatizing experiences in early childhood is true, it’s a wonder more of us aren’t tickle freaks.

While for most, the idea of being trampled may be abhorrent, there is some human contact there, and the trope of dominance and submission we can all comprehend, even if it leaves us cold.

Less relatable is the fetish for seeing objects crushed. I’m curious if, for those whose heart rates rise watching these, there is some projection happening in which the object is the viewer’s surrogate.

Is this fixation what happens when you stomp and destroy little Timmy’s favorite toy car?

One man’s lunch is another man’s orgasm.

This is all about isolation. Ironically, it is incredibly dangerous if done unsupervised. The mummy can easily suffocate or asphyxiate.

If this is your thing and you’re out there feeling alone and blue, make sure you sign up for this forum to discuss it with other like-minded individuals.

A whole BBC five documentary was made about men who have sex with cars. One man has ironically named his car Vanilla. Paradise by that dashboard light?

Cars are not the only love objects without a pulse. KansasCity.com has collected news stories about unexpected inanimate/animate pairings.

Apotemnophilia is written about rather extensively in Wikipedia. It is the erotic desire to have a limb removed. What provokes sympathy and mortification at the thought of being caught staring in most is a deep source of arousal for others. Those who get off watching these may not simply be objectifying these people, but imagining themselves in their place.

As with nearly every fetish you see here, this fetish is often combined with the love of feet (or foot) and footwear.

If you’re thinking of picking up your next parka at the Goodwill, you might want to make sure you run it by the cleaners before wearing it. Don’t get any ideas about this guy, ladies. A glance at his left hand lets us know he’s taken.

Destruction of the fetishized object:

Community Connection

We’ve all got our quirks. Do you see the appeal? Help the rest of us see reason in the comments below.

Is the global financial crisis affecting the Kiwis so profoundly that they have to rob the US of its richest eligible singles? Who else would be spending the nearly $800 for the ticket?

Photo: the half-blood prince

The tagline, apparently targeting the helplessly brainwashed, straight and desperate American masses with a grand to burn (consider the cocktails) is “How far will you go to find the one?”

Perhaps a more accurate question would be, “How pissed will you be when you spend $800 and travel half a world on an endless international flight to find that you can’t get laid here either and you’re not getting home anytime soon?”

Photos and Feature Photo: the jyan

Indeed, for those who find themselves having a terrible time, it’s far worse than a blind date in the ol’ hometown. Here there will be no escape from the glaring failure as Sandra skips off with a more sex-worthy catch and you wait for another overnight flight back to L.A. during which there will be only cocktail service and a courtesy blanket to comfort you.

The whole thing smacks of a reality show.

About the only guaranteed positive is that this may be the only international fight you’ll ever have been on without a relentlessly sobbing child.

The promise of sex with a foreigner crosses your mind as you make your reservations, browse hostels online and pack your bags.

Photo and feature photo: masochismtango

Will the women in the countries you visit be interested in you?  I can’t help you with that part, but it does seem in the places I’ve been that the guys who are foreign (you) have the cachet of being from somewhere else.  Depending on how you work it, you could be attracting girls left and right, but they won’t be going anywhere with you if you seem like a bummer of a lay.

Girls can tell a lot about whether they want to sleep with you in a few moments of closeness.  Allow me to share a couple of tips with you so you can make those moments count and get a second chance.

Desperation is obvious.

Before you even go out, you have to get the stink of it off of you. Whatever it takes to you to calm the hell down, do it.  There’s nothing that’s more of a turn off than a sexually desperate guy.

It’s all about the kiss.

Guys, I can’t stress this enough.  Once you’re into kissing, take it slow.  Follow her lead and tempo.  Far too many guys never get a second chance because they treat kissing like a game of thumb war, determined to take down the opponent’s tongue.  Don’t try to choke her out or restrict her wind pipe.  It’s not hot.

You should look at it as a way of getting to know her, not a way of proving that your tongue can go into turbo drive.  Be calm and self assured in your kissing and don’t get too fancy – at least not at first.

Photo: manu_el_o_matic!

Groping – Don’t give her the bad touch.

Be aware that a man’s and woman’s ‘erogenous zones’ do not operate in the same way.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, the skin of the vagina is like delicate tissue paper compared to what you’ve got.  If you get that far, don’t treat the crotch of a girl as you do your own.

Rule of thumb (and fingers): Use 1/10th the pressure you would on your own genitals.  If she wants it harder, she’ll make up for the torque you’re lacking – then you can adjust.

Tip – Try using the flat of your hand.  In the dark and through layers of clothes, it’s just inadvisable to go digging a single finger.  Use the butt of your hand to rub the general area.  You’ll be able to tell when you’re doing it right.

The most important thing is to be aware of her.

Is she responding to what you’re doing?  Change it up and see if she seems to like it any better.  Pay more attention to her reaction than to your pal downstairs and you might make enough of an impression to get her to pay a little attention to him.

Women like to think that you’re interested in what they have to say – maybe you even are.  If you’re not, you’ll have to fake it.  This extends to getting it on as well.  Ask her.  If she is quiet and less than expressive, ask if she likes the way you’re doing what you’re doing.  It’s such a rare thing to do, you’re bound to impress her.  If she’s embarrassed to say, ask her to show you.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, guys, but there are some nuggets of information that can serve you well on your home turf as well as abroad.  Use your foreign charm and  knock ‘em dead.

Feature photo by krebsmaus07. Photo by Nicole Pelligrino.

With over seventy percent of the population claiming African ancestry, Salvador, Bahia, Brazil has been described as the “Most African city in the Americas.” Yet limiting Bahia to a tiny piece of Africa nestled into the coast of Brazil is a bit too neat. Bahia represents one of the great cultural mélanges of the New World. Nowhere is this more evident than in the musical traditions of Salvador.

Living and working in Salvador, I’ve found that taking in the local music and nightlife is the best means of unwinding after my long, hot, post-work commute, or after an all day sun-bake at the beach. Salvador offers a wide assortment of venues and distinctive musical styles.

While Carnaval is the celebration of the year, the city provides ample year-round entertainment. From the authentic sounds of Northeastern Forró, Axé, and Samba, to African drumming and imports like Salsa and Reggae, to a unique breed of singer/songwriter types–there is truly something for everyone.

The following are the 10 best spots / events to take in the unique nightlife of Salvador.

1. Terça da Bênção

The weekly Terça da Bênção (Tuesday of Blessing) in Pelourinho jam-packs the streets of the Old City with both locals and tourists. Salvador’s famous drumming blocos take to the streets, and behind them Soteropolitanos (Individuals from Salvador) perform elaborate synchronized dances. Onlookers encircle the musicians and performers. Didá Banda Feminina, an all-girl Afro-bloco (and one of many community-based music groups) consistently draws a massive crowd.

2. Terreiro de Jesus

Terreiro de Jesus, the central public square in Pelourhino, framed by churches on nearly every side, is a popular place to check out a variety of local acts. The city erects a large, well-lit stage, and fantastic sound system. Folks flood the square; standing and sitting at plastic tables, eating Acarajé from Baihanas, drinking beer and citrus-sugary capirinhas. People dance and sing along. The effusiveness of Bahians is infectious—you will inevitably find yourself on your feet, dancing and chiming into the music.

Photo by fabbio

3. Gerônimo

Gerônimo is a must-see on Tuesdays. He and his band, Mont Serrat, take the stage which sits atop the steps of the Igreja (Church) do Passo on the Ladeira (Hill) do Carmo. The church stands at the cusp of Pelourhino and neighboring Santo Antônio, and the festivities begin around 7 PM. Arriving early is best to secure a superior view of the band.

Gerônimo’s music is the pride of Salvador, and the number of bodies crammed into the bottleneck-shaped space is always staggering. It may be a claustrophobe’s nightmare, but few Brazilians are daunted by the crowd’s density. Relax and join in the revelry.

4. Salsa Night at Sankofa’a African Bar

Stroll back in the direction of Terreiro de Jesus and stop in at Sankofa’a African Bar for Salsa night. I try to grab an open seat near the edge and watch the talented band and the highly-skilled Salseros. I am generally too intimidated by the expertise of these dancers to join in. For those more valiant than me, Salsa teachers who frequent Sankofa will be glad to lead if you are willing to try.

If your two left feet get the best of you, wander upstairs and take a break on one of the hammocks, and check out the old Reggae music videos on the projector screen, or wander onto the veranda and gaze down at the crowds below.

5. Reggae night at Arté Bahia

Salvador’s music scene is largely homegrown, but Reggae (pronounced “hay-gee” in Portuguese) is becoming an increasingly central element of the city’s musical repertoire. Friday is reggae night at Arté Bahia in Pelourinho, the open air bar; cheap drinks and affordable admission have inspired me to return time and time again.

As the popularity of Reggae continues to increase in Salvador, new artists are popping up rapidly. Even so, polished, experienced, and professional artists are still easy to spot.

Photo by brunogirin

6. Saturday Nights at Bispo Hostel

Bispo’s crowd ranges in age from teens through seniors, and the group is lively, the ambiance intimate and welcoming. Candles arranged in a circular pattern adorn the walls and provide the sole light source for the upstairs music area. Bispo also boasts a large backyard, with an elevated stage and a pit.

Performances are typically collaborative and varied, featuring new musicians and regulars alike. Shows integrate African-derived call and response, experimentation with such instruments as Zimbabwean Xylophones, as well as kalimbas and shakeres.

7. Ladeira do Curuzu on Saturdays

Ilê Aiyé is an Afro-bloco based out of Liberdade and can be seen on the Ladeira do Curuzu on Saturdays. Recently, I was fortunate enough to catch their annual Festival of Black Music and was treated to a showcase of talented musicians; some from Salvador and others from greater Brazil. Margareth Menezes’ powerful voice shook the walls of the concert hall from the stage, while the members of Ilê Aiyé drummed away on the same floor as the concert-goers, who were encouraged to participate, dancing and singing until 5 AM.

8. Sundays at O Galpão Cheio de Assunto

Peu Meurray has done a great job of turning his art into an accessible and interesting musical endeavor, including the transformation of tires into rolling drums. He plays on Sundays at O Galpão Cheio de Assunto in the Sete Portas neighborhoos. Accompanied by his band, os Pneumáticos, he adds new life to the classic sounds of Northeastern Forró.

The open-air music venue doubles as a miniature gallery, one of the most colorful and eclectic spots in the city. This is also a great place to learn how to dance forró. Locals will take you under their wing and show you the simple moves. Be prepared to move your hips; this is NOT the Texas two-step!

9. Jota Veloso at Sesi in Rio Vermelho

Rio Vermelho is a neighborhood on the opposite side of town, another popular location for both music and nightlife. Largo de Santana is notorious for having the best Acarajé in town. After grabbing a beer and food, I walk over to Sesi, a pricey but lovely restaurant and venue which backs up to the Atlantic Ocean.

Featured on selected nights is singer/ composer Jota Veloso (nephew of the legendary Caetano Veloso). A showcase of some of Salvador’s finest talent.

10. Mondays at Casa de Mãe

Another option is Mondays at Casa de Mãe, which are inexpensive, and relaxing. Get there early, and grab a seat with an ocean view on the balcony, as the heat inside can become a bit stifling. An interesting spot is Nhô Caldos, an anomaly in Salvador.

The bar and restaurant pours out onto Rua do Atlantico, and is the only place I have seen punk music featured in the city thus far. Yet other nights it maintains a quieter, family-friendly atmosphere. I cannot quite figure it out, but I like it.

Photo by Nicole Pelligrino

Tips on Nightlife in Salvador

The quantity of things to do is contingent upon the season, the day of the week, and the weather conditions. Carnaval time in February is the apex of the high season, while the low season is between July and September.

Though there is great fervor surrounding Carnaval, the city is much more affordable and relaxed during the low season. Spending the evening at one of Salvador’s many cheap outdoor bars and sharing beer with friends can be just as enjoyable as a night out on the town.

Arriving early at sure-to-be-packed events is a good idea, but do not be surprised if they begin an hour or two after scheduled. Nightlife is a game of give-and-take in Salvador; folks are incredibly low-key when it comes to going out, expect them to be similarly relaxed when it comes to punctuality. Shows scheduled for 7 PM may not commence until 9; friends with whom you have arranged to meet at 9 may not arrive until 10 or 10:30. I have grown accustomed to it.

Finally, these recommendations are intended to provide a concise list of possibilities for visitors and those new to the city. New opportunities to experience the vibrant music and nightlife of Salvador emerge weekly. Come see for yourself. Boa Sorte!

Photo by Kelly Rice

Tango: Sultry And Elegant

It is 4am and the dimly lit dance floor is packed with couples in close embrace, chests and cheeks connected, legs moving in unison to a 50-year old tango by Pugliese.

They dance together as if they had known each other for decades, but no one in this crowd was even alive yet when this song came out and most of the couples are dancing together for the first time.

The dancers dress as if going to a disco: jeans, sneakers and the occasional dress or skirt with leggings. But as the violin and bandoneon on the recorded orquestra belt out their notes, the women take long steps, revealing their shiny tango shoes— high-heeled and in varying shades of red, gold, green and blue— spinning into backwards “ochos” while caressing the floor as if it were the third partner; this is no disco, it is the real thing: tango dancing at La Viruta on a Friday night.

In the South American city that never sleeps, now is the best time to come and experience tango.

The Golden Age Of Tango

While the history of tango has been theorized and debated for years, the common belief is that it was born from a melting pot of different dances in the late 1800s, during the biggest immigration boom in Argentina’s history. It was a dance that started in the streets, evolved in the brothels, and eventually found its way to Europe, where it received a social stamp of approval, opening the eyes of the world to this dance that at one time was “forbidden” by the authorities.

Through its history tango has endured depression, dictatorships, and rock and roll and continues to flourish today, practiced internationally by people of all ages.

Now, more than ever, people from around the world are traveling to Argentina to practice tango in its birthplace. Some come for one or two weeks and others stay for years just to perfect the dance, sometimes with aspirations to become a professional dancer, but often just to improve their skills while meeting other tango dancers from around the world.

Many serious “Milongueros” adopt a nocturnal lifestyle and attend multiple venues, making the most of the night (and better part of the morning) hopping from one dance to another until 5 or 6am.

Tango Shows For You To See

Walking around Buenos Aires, you will literally stumble upon tango street performers dancing for pennies from Florida street to San Telmo to La Boca. But if the only tango you see is in the street, you will be missing out. Here are the best spots in Buenos Aires to see Argentina’s top dancers perform at tango stage shows.

Photo by Kelly Rice

Café Tortoni

You can go anywhere in town to see spectacular dancers strut their stuff on the stage – but most places will charge you a pretty penny (US $60-150). Instead of shelling out the big bucks, I highly recommend going to a tango show at Café Tortoni (US $10-20). Turning 150 years old this year, Café Tortoni is known to most people as a historical joint to visit and admire while drinking a cup of café cortado. What many people don’t know is that it offers nightly tango shows in the basement floor and in the back of the café.

Call ahead and make a reservation and try to see a show in the upstairs venue since it is smaller and more intimate:
tel: 4342-4328

Señor Tango

If you have money to spend, dish it out and go to Senor Tango, a Las Vegas-style tango show that includes a three-course dinner and an orchestra that will blow your mind (not to mention some of Buenos Aires’ best dancers and singers) for approx. US $75)

tel: 4303-0231

Milongas: An Alternative To Stage Shows

If you want to see locals and international dancers dancing socially (no rehearsed dancing, all created in the moment), you absolutely MUST experience an authentic Buenos Aires milonga. While many of the tango dancers that you will see at the Milongas have years of experience, many places provide classes and practice sessions at the beginning of the night, giving more novice dancers a chance to test their skills on the dancefloor.

Here are a week’s worth of milonga suggestions (although by no means an exhaustive list—all milongas are updated weekly here.

Kelly Rice’s Favorite Milongas In Buenos Aires

Monday: Confiteria Ideal—A traditional see-and-be-seen milonga. Great people-watching.
Tuesdays: Practica X—A very young, experimental milonga.
Wednesdays: Villa Malcom—An extremely international crowd, dancers come to hone their skills.
Thursdays: Niño Bien—A large well-known milonga with traditional-style tango dancers
Fridays: La Viruta— Experienced and novices alike come here to make history on the dance floor
Saturdays: La Glorietta—A free outdoor milonga where dancers shed their inhibitions (rain or
shine)
Sundays: Plaza Dorrego—After an afternoon visit to the San Telmo flea market, make your way to Plaza Dorrego to watch El Indio’s performance, then stay for the outdoor milonga

While there are classes before most milongas start, it helps to have a bit of the basics. And there is no excuse not to take a couple of tango classes in the mecca of tango—Buenos Aires, where a lesson costs next to nothing and the teachers are nothing short of amazing.

Tango Classes

The following are a couple of my favorite dance studios. They cater their classes towards students of multiple levels, from first timers to advanced couples looking for choreography. Most of the teachers speak a little English, although knowing Spanish is a definite plus.

Tango Brujo
(Esmeralda 754, phone: 4325-8264)
Young teachers with experimental styles break barriers and introduce students to “tango nuevo”

DNI Tango
Another tango nuevo style school that even offers Yoga classes specifically designed for tango dancers

All group classes range from $15-$20 pesos. Private classes are to be arranged with each individual teacher but can be pricey ($75-150 Argentine Pesos)

Lambada Zouk: The Coolest Dance You’ve Never Heard Of

In order to wrap your mind around Zouk, you just have to see it. Imagine one part dirty dancing, one part salsa and one part waltz. Intimate, rhythmic and elegant, it is a beautiful seductive dance that involves partners dancing, attached at the hip, and separating to twirl, all the while maintaining a one-two-three beat to various music from the Caribbean, Brazil, and even the Middle East.

Lambada Zouk is a version of the lambada developed in the late eighties. Originating in Brazil, it (like tango) caught fire in Europe and is fast becoming recognized worldwide. One of the best places to dance lambada zouk is Buenos Aires.

Although Zouk isn’t as famous as tango, right now in Buenos Aires there are places to see and practice this unique dance form four nights a week.

Maluco Beleza

Take a class at Maluco Beleza, one of BA’s most well-known bars that boasts a huge dance space downstairs and a second floor upstairs. Wednesday nights there is a dinner show with a variety of Brazilian dances. Fridays at 10:30pm and Sundays at 9:30pm for 15 pesos ($5 US) you can take a beginner zouk class, practice your moves as the bar begins to fill up, and then stay to watch as seasoned zouk dancers light up the dancefloor, twisting their bodies—the men hold the women like precious objects and the girls spin in tune to the music and their partners, while sensually flipping their long hair off their faces.
Sarmiento 1728

Balaio

Offering a wide variety of Brazilian dance classes including different kind of Samba, Axé, and capoeira, Balaio also gives zouk classes for all levels. Take their beginners class on Fridays at 8pm with Gabriela and she will patiently guide you through basics of lambada zouk.
Mansilla 2787 top floor
tel: +54 (11) 4963-6066

Zouk group classes are 15-20 pesos. Private classes are 50.

For info on teachers, places to dance zouk and classes, refer to this website: www.zoukba.com

Editor’s Note: Kelly Rice has written some freaking awesome blogs about her experiences studying Tango and Zouk in Buenos Aires. Here are some of my favorites:

Check out Kelly’s other writing and get in touch with her and thousands of other passionate travelers by visiting her Matador profile.