New Zealand to Rob US of Gullible, Wealthy Singles with Matchmaking Flights

05/18/09  Print This Post Print This Post    19 Comments   Popular   Written by Kate Sedgwick
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Air New Zealand is to begin offering the “Air New Zealand Matchmaking Flight,” according to the New Zealand Herald and a website created by the airline. The stated goal is to “help single Americans find New Zealand dates with a themed flight headed toward a dual hemisphere singles party.” The maiden (maybe inaugural is more appropriate here) voyage is set to launch in October.

Is the global financial crisis affecting the Kiwis so profoundly that they have to rob the US of its richest eligible singles? Who else would be spending the nearly $800 for the ticket?

The tagline, apparently targeting the helplessly brainwashed, straight and desperate American masses with a grand to burn (consider the cocktails) is “How far will you go to find the one?”

Perhaps a more accurate question would be, “How pissed will you be when you spend $800 and travel half a world on an endless international flight to find that you can’t get laid here either and you’re not getting home anytime soon?”

Photos and Feature Photo: the jyan

Indeed, for those who find themselves having a terrible time, it’s far worse than a blind date in the ol’ hometown. Here there will be no escape from the glaring failure as Sandra skips off with a more sex-worthy catch and you wait for another overnight flight back to L.A. during which there will be only cocktail service and a courtesy blanket to comfort you.

The whole thing smacks of a reality show.

About the only guaranteed positive is that this may be the only international fight you’ll ever have been on without a relentlessly sobbing child.


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About the Author

Kate Sedgwick

Kate Sedgwick co-edits Matador Nights from Buenos Aires where she teaches English, learns Spanish and thoroughly enjoys herself. Her art and writing have appeared in print and on-line publications and her novel in progress will be received with prurient glee by critics of American culture if it ever gets into their grubby little hands. Find out more about her than you ever wanted to know here. (Author photo by Sebastian Santana).

19 Comments... join the discussion!

  • Tim Patterson replied on May 18, 2009

    Not sure I agree with you here, Kate. $800 isn’t too much to spend on a flight to NZ, and Kiwis are hot. I can only imagine the Twittering that’s gonna go on at the events…

    anything for love…

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  • Kate Sedgwick replied on May 18, 2009

    Yeah. They’ll be twittering each others’ asses off.

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  • Colin Wright replied on May 18, 2009

    Ha! I can’t believe I’ve never heard ‘Twittering’ used as a dirty verb until this moment…

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  • Turner replied on May 18, 2009

    Little of bit of anger in that article. I have to agree with Tim, though – $800 is pretty average for a flight to kiwi land, and besides, I love that accent on Kiwi girls.

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  • Eva replied on May 19, 2009

    Ladies be warned: New Zealand has a dire man shortage. They’re all in the UK on working holiday visas. Do not be fooled… :P

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  • Carlo Alcos replied on May 19, 2009

    Actually, lots of Aussies and Kiwis are headed home (well, the Kiwis might be headed to Oz) because of the UK economy. So they may be in luck!

    And I don’t think Kate’s saying $800 is too much for a flight to NZ. She’s saying 800 bones is a lot to throw down for the off-chance that you might get to hook up with someone…and then if that doesn’t work out, well…blind date gone bad times 100. Ouch.

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  • Tim Patterson replied on May 19, 2009

    Wonder if the Air New Zealand CEO will be on the flight wearing nothing but body paint…he’s pretty ripped for an older dude.

    http://matadorpulse.com/would-air-new-zealands-ad-fly-in-your-country/

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  • Scott replied on May 19, 2009

    $800 can get you a lot of speed dating. I wonder how they plan on seating people next to each other. Perhaps they removed all the seats from the middle of the plane so you can walk around and mingle.

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  • Christine replied on May 19, 2009

    This sounds like my own private hell.

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  • chris replied on May 21, 2009

    I didn’t think Kiwi birds were all that hot, most of them were bigger and stronger than me, think they played for the AB’s front row, so I wouldn’t spend the money..

    Great country though…

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  • Tom Gates replied on May 23, 2009

    We’re The Anger Twins!

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  • Tim Patterson replied on May 25, 2009

    Seriously, I wish I could be on this flight.

    Along with about 7 of those tiny bottles of airplane booze.

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  • Ryukyu Mike replied on May 29, 2009

    $800 buy alot of Orion beer and Karaoke and not get you just as laid !

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