Pink Capes Suck (by The Real Gay Matador)

09/26/09  Print This Post Print This Post    6 Comments   Popular   Written by Tom Gates
  • Stumble It

Photo: ainudil

A little-known Spanish matador is breaking with a sacred tradition, agreeing to advertise a soft drink that caters to the gay community while simultaneously slaying bulls. Tom Gates cries bullshit.

“Matador Joselito Ortega will be plugging a club-scene energy beverage called Gay Up and have those words embroidered into his cape in large, red cursive letters.” (AP)

There are moments when being gay is just fine and dandy, and then there are moments when being gay just plain sucks. It was on about the fourth time that the story was forwarded to me that I knew that this was going to be a real El Suck-O day.

Photo courtesy of Gay Up

Look, I’ll leave the whining about product placement to That Guy. He can bemoan the state of the advertising world, about how every square inch of God’s Green Earth is for sale and how great the old days were, when advertising was just subliminally evil.

I guess if anyone should be pissed then it should be the bull, which should at least be able to make a equal buck displaying its own cheeseburger ad before being slayed or slewn or whatever the hell the past participle of ‘slay’ is.

What yanks my crank is that Ortega – who is, by the way, straight – is playing the Gay Card because his career is in the crapper. According to most reports, Ol’ Joselito is not exactly The Bullfighter Of The Year. He’s been gored many times since his tights-wearing career began in 2006, which is hardly a solid start for a newbie Matador. That’s like a school bus driver killing a few hundred kids before he gets the hang of a big steering wheel.

To be surprised that a pink cape and a gay ad would spark his career is unfathomable, yet Ortega seems to stand by his story that he’s simply trying to break down barriers for both the gay and capitalist communities. He told CNN, “I’m glad to be the first person (in bullfighting) whom the gay community will take as an icon.” Girlfriend thinks he’s Madonna and he’s really just Brooke Hogan.

Says Ortega, “I am a bullfighter. That is not going to change. I am going to go out into the ring as I have done until now, to risk my life, and the seven goring wounds on my body prove that.”

As if there wasn’t enough reason to root for the bull already.


  • Stumble It

About the Author

Tom Gates

Tom is a writer and a constant traveler, having spent most of the past two years wandering Earth with his Macbook. He is also pretending to be a third person right now and is obviously writing his own bio. He knows that you knew that, despite the deft maneuvering of pronouns.

6 Comments... join the discussion!

  • david miller replied on September 26, 2009

    slain, i think.

    didn’t fully get this part–’Girlfriend thinks he’s Madonna and he’s really just Brooke Hogan’

    feels like i’m missing ‘key cultural references’ but sort of proud about that. i’m that guy.

    (Report comment)

    ↵ Reply
  • marissa replied on September 26, 2009

    I’m really not seeing a problem here. He’s a gay matador (talented or not) who was approached by a soda company to push a product. If that product pushing (or the absolutely absurd slogan) doesn’t bother you, so what if he gets a bit of a career boost? Why wouldn’t he try to take advantage of the chance to be a spokesman? And it’s not completely off base that a gay tough guy in the limelight might be a positive thing for the gay community…

    (Report comment)

    ↵ Reply
    • Carlo replied to marissa on September 28, 2009

      I haven’t done the research, but Tom here asserts that the matador is, in fact, straight. Assuming that is true, I can see a definite problem here.

      (Report comment)

      ↵ Reply
  • Hal Amen replied on September 27, 2009

    There are so many wtf elements to this story, I can’t wrap my mind around it! Pink cape, gay energy drink, bullfighting!? Definitely one of those “stranger than fiction” moments.

    (Report comment)

    ↵ Reply
  • eileen replied on September 29, 2009

    Is nobody here bothered by the name of the energy drink? Gay up? What is that? I don’t know which police (English, marketing, gay) should get on that, but somebody should. On the other hand, yay for separate but equal. I mean… I’m so glad that there is an overpriced, chemically-enhanced energy drink for everyone.

    (Report comment)

    ↵ Reply
  • Paul Sullivan replied on September 30, 2009

    Haha, genius. This is wrong on so many levels. Bravo! the REAL gay Matador!

    (Report comment)

    ↵ Reply

Leave a Comment

Get Matador in your inbox and around the web.

Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter.


View full list of RSS feeds

Jump To Category:





Popular Stories on Matador

Diving Deeply Into the Joy Of Deliberate Living

Do you choose your life or does your life choose you? T... 

Tips for Travel Video: Framing the Action

What's the easiest technique you can use while filming ... 

The Best Condiments in the World Right Now

Tzakiki combines puréed cucumber and strained yoghurt ... 

Chile inaugurates Museum of Memory & Human Rights

Eileen Smith reports on Chile's newly opened Museum of ... 

Where to Find Righteous Pizza in Atlanta, Georgia

Specialty pies include The Chicken Cordon Bleu, which s... 

4 Questions to Ask Before WWOOFing

Don't wait until after you've signed up to WWOOF to ask... 

How to Get Started Sandboarding

I'm not really into the whole extreme sports thing. So ... 

10 Gadgets to Unleash Your Inner James Bond

Introducing real-life gadgets that trounce some of 007'... 

World Cup Preview: North Korea vs. South Korea

2010 will be the first time that North and South Korea ... 

Google's Person Finder App Helps in Chile Quake Aftermath

If you're looking for someone or can confirm someone is... 



Focus



Editor Blogs