One man’s quest to eat as much shopping center food as possible (in one day).
Siam Paragon:
The food court here was massive, spotless and buzzing with life. I grabbed a lemon iced tea, a bbq chicken stick and a spicy chicken noodle curry (which I immediately spilled on my lap). The stalls ran the Asian gamut, from steamed buns to bird knuckle. There’s something for everyone. Might be the best in BKK. Ignore the McDonalds.
Impression: Dreamy. Mood: Homer Simpson after a beer.
MBK Center:
Known best for its 4th floor bootleg phone orgy, this is a great place to grab a coffee and watch as tourists get taken for Very Special Price. I couldn’t resist picking up a dessert that resembled a taco with white fluff and stringy squash. Delicious, despite a crunchy consistency.
I then followed employees into a tiny alcove with a vat of bubbling meat parts. I pointed. “That please.” I’m happy to pretend what I ate was chicken with rice. Woof. Ignore the Burger King.
Impression: Dizzying activity with tasty snacks. Mood: Spiked on sugar.
Siam Discovery:
This one was a bit of an up-scaler, with few food options. I did my writer’s duty and hit Starbucks, jacked myself on caffeine and scribbled bad coffee-shop verse. Overpriced muffins still taste like over-priced muffins here. Ignore the Starbucks.
Impression: Good for furniture, bad for food. Mood: Perturbed.
Siam Center:
A mall that could just as easily be in Hartford, complete with a building-wide system that blared JT bitching about having 15 minutes to save the world. I did a very brave thing and tried a green tea and grape jelly shake at Mr Shake, wishing that I hadn’t after one sip.
I hightailed up to the Food For Fun floor, preparing for (their words) a fast, funky, flirty (?) feast. Imagine my surprise when I saw that they served stewed ox genitals with chinese herbs. I could only think of one F for that – f’d up. Instead I ordered some undeniably amazing mango sticky rice. Avoid the Sizzler.
Impression: Manageable and full of options. Mood: Close to hurling.
Centralworld:
“Get yourself ready for Kiehl’s!” announced a sign at the entrance. I stopped, unsure how exactly to get myself ready for the arrival of boutique moisturizer. This mall had the best AC and I sat on a bench for thirty minutes, just soaking up the icy air.
Sadly, the food court was jammed behind frozen foods on the top floor. I instead opted for a grilled cheese at The American Restaurant, completely falling for their slogan (“Hey dude, come in and taste for yourself.”). I also have to admit that also bought a shirt at a store called Trendytown. Ignore the Dunkin Donuts.
Impression: Biggest mall I have ever seen. Mood: Fat.
The Gaysorn:
I wasn’t even hungry but I rolled myself into this place because a) it had “gay” in the name and I’m really eleven years old b) it looked pricey. Inside I found about nine people shopping. It would appear that now is not the best time to treat yourself to a Tiffany watch.
I was able to find some green tea for $3 US, hoping that it would somehow digest everything gurgling down below. It only made my gurgle more green. Ignore everything.
Impression: How could one city substantiate so much shopping? Mood: Glad to be finished.
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All Photos: Tom Gates
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14 Comments... join the discussion!
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** laughing out loud **
Felt like I was actually trailing you through the malls. Hilarious!
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Those little crispy tacos are one of my absolute favorite foods in Bangkok! Siam Paragon has my favorite food court in the city, hands down. Next time, try the hot dog baked into a waffle!
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mmm, that curry looks delicious. I should never travel, cause I love to eat.
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Haha, this is great. Love this post!
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Love it, great writing as always, Tom. I forgive you for siccing the civet cat on me last night.
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The MBK food court is a great place to go if you want/need AC and you and your friends can’t decide on what you want to eat. When I was there, I was having a nacho/Mexican food craving and it was ok but as the saying goes ’same, same but different’.
I avoid McDonald’s everywhere I go, even at home. I don’t understand those who travel thousands of miles away from where they live so they can eat the same crap they can get at home.↵ -
A crazy concept for BKK! Though I must admit that I love 5th Avenue at the MBK centre. It’s kinda upscale for a shopping centre (esp compared to the 4th fl), with open kitchens from around the world, a juice bar and a proper bar. The only problem with that place is that’s there’s so much going on and so much great food to choose from, it makes it very difficult to get any food.
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The food courts in those malls were rather impressive. I got lost looking for the internet cafe in there twice.
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‘Imagine my surprise when I saw that they served stewed ox genitals with chinese herbs.’
Oh dear me!
I would have gone for the mango and sticky rice too.
But if there is one mango and sticky rice thing I’ve noticed out here – it’s that sticky rice does not taste good in food courts. Or bought from Paragons.
You need to find a little ‘ole lady with a stall on some side street somewhere. The cheaper the setup, the better.
And if you talk to Thais, they will discuss all the different variations of sticky rice… and who has the best and where… it is a dish made in heaven for sure.
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I’ve eaten at all those places, and Siam Paragon is my favourite too, very nice and easy to get around to pick what you want.
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HA! Hilarious!!
Am traveling to Bangkok in November and I WILL use your food guidance. Also to Cate, I am rather intrigued by this hotdog waffle….↵
